After the "Teen Mom 2" third-season reunion, all we can say is: Oh, Jeremy, you poor sap.
Leah's unfortunate fiance (now husband) had to sit there on Dr. Drew Pinsky's couch while his baby mama flat-out professed her love for her ex-husband, Corey. That's not all: She'd rather get back together with Corey -- if he fully committed to their family -- than stay with her devoted new man.
Dr. Drew slapped on another insult by soliciting a show of hands from the audience, who almost unanimously voted for Corey.
Corey won't commit, though, but he does blame the failure of their marriage on the old "trailer and truck" dispute, not Leah's revelation that she cheated on him a week before their wedding.
It seems all Leah wants is a family and more babies, so if Corey's out then Jeremy's in -- evidently, seeing as how she married him.
The special was apparently taped between Leah's miscarriage and third pregnancy (with Jeremy). When she says she's desperate to have another baby, Dr. Drew, who has triplets of his own, smacks her down: "An adult wouldn't think that way!"
Huh. "Thinking" has never been our go-to verb when discussing the Teen Moms.
Moving on, some disturbing facts came out of Jenelle's session:
The Ke$ha concert wasn't that great.
Per Dr. Drew, Jenelle probably would have passed her drug test if she hadn't attempted to "adulterate" it. So the lesson here is just make sure you don't smoke out two days before your weekly urine test? (We suspect that was Jenelle's takeaway.)
Kieffer is back in jail, and Jenelle has a new boyfriend, a Marine whom Barbara loves.
"I love Gary -- he's very respectable," Bab enthuses about the habitual drug user who would later plead guilty to assaulting her daughter. "He was brought up with manners and wants Jenelle to go to church."
Maybe Gary isn't exactly a model citizen, but he sure seems that way compared to Jenelle's baby daddy. Hey, even "that Koofer kid" looks good next to Andrew, who was tripped up in several lies on Dr. Drew's couch.
For instance, he hasn't seen his son because Jenelle didn't give him Babs' number and his baby mama is deliberately blocking a reunion.
Then he admitted he can't visit their home in North Carolina because there's a warrant for his arrest -- for not paying child support.
Dr. Drew commends Jenelle on her "progress." (Hey, he's not a fortune-teller, just an addiction specialist!)
Kailyn is still fuming about Jo's girlfriend, Vee, whom she still hasn't met. Does Vee's tweeting that she asked Jo to send her a picture of his package make her untrustworthy? (Discuss among yourselves.) Did Jo send such a snapshot? ("I don't remember.")
Could Jo and Kailyn ever get back together? Jo takes this one.
"I'm not a fortune-teller, I'm a rapper," says N.I.C.K. B.
We're not fortune tellers or rappers, but thanks to the season four preview, we already knew Chelsea and Adam hooked up again -- and that Dr. Drew was destined for disappointment when he asked whether they used birth control.
"Please God, say yes," begs the unreasonably optimistic doc.
Chelsea's dad, Randy, drops another bombshell: Adam threatened to leave if Chelsea didn't give him money for his truck. (What the truck is with these baby daddies? The must really like to help people move.) But Adam denies that ever happened. Hmmm, whom to believe? The respected dentist or the partying four-wheeler who still lives with his parents?
That's all for this season, folks. Tune in to MTV Monday, Feb. 18 for the premiere of season four!
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- 'Teen Mom 2' finale packs deception, surprise for one dad
- 'Teen Mom 2' star Jenelle files assault charges against husband
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