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‘Survivor Tocantins’ is down to its final four

The tribe has spoken: Self-proclaimed "dragon slayer" Ben "Coach" Wade was voted out, having been backstabbed by a member of his self-proclaimed "warrior alliance." Before the vote, he said, "I've surrounded myself with strong players, and to this day it hasn't backfired on me," but it finally did. He went out on a highly ridiculous note, reciting a poem at Tribal Council.

Final four: The final four are an Alabama cattle rancher (JT), a New York corporate consultant (Stephen), a Wisconsin hair stylist (Erinn), and a singer and NFL wife (Taj) — a diverse, likable group.

Exiled: JT won the reward challenge and decided to send Coach to Exile, even though Coach had been complaining about his ailments and was encouraging the men to send one of the two women there. "Let's be noble, Coach. Let's do this," JT told him. Coach said he was going to take the "monastic approach" and not eat or make fire. Coach insisted, "I want it to be tough on me," and once there, spouted his usual nonsense about being "unbreakable, unbending, unyielding, immeasurable, immovable, invincible." Don't forget delusional.

Near-fatal error: Erinn almost went home, receiving JT's vote as a result of a comment she made after Coach talked about depriving himself at Exile. That offended Erinn, who said "he's going to take the martyr approach," and went off on him. Later JT told Stephen that "she's just shooting herself in the foot," while Stephen said the comment was "tasteless and classless." However, she escaped elimination.

Please excuse my excuses: Before being sent to Exile, Coach said, "my body is about this close right now from total disaster," citing ruptured discs and his asthma ("I can't breathe"), among other problems. Then he said, "I make no excuses." None at all, except for all those excuses.

Broken down: Coach hobbled into the immunity challenge, which involved supporting oneself between two walls while standing on only two tiny pieces of wood. Coach made it to the end, facing off against JT, but eventually collapsed and fell to the ground. "What's his strategy? To prey on everybody's sympathy," Taj said later. "He's so full of it." Coach, ever the sunshiney optimist, said, "I was honored by the defeat and the way I went down."

TMI, JT: JT won the reward challenge and took Stephen, and they were treated to a shower, bed, and feast. Looking at themselves in a mirror for the first time in more than a month, they were both shocked, and found the luxury to be exactly what they needed. JT said the shower "was like heaven" and while showering, moaned and said, "Oh man, can't get enough of this soap. 34 days, I have not washed my nasty tail."

is a writer, TV critic, and editor of reality blurred, and can be found on Facebook.

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