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Snow White Wars Part Two: Grimm Is Moving Faster, but Is It Better?

The Brothers Grimm: Snow White may not have Kristen Stewart, but hey, it's got a poster!
/ Source: E!online

The Brothers Grimm: Snow White may not have Kristen Stewart, but hey, it's got a poster!

And a pretty boring one at that. A teeny tiny castle with a barely-there silhouette of maybe Lily Collins? Seriously? That's it? Guess this flick really is banking on those A-list names typed in big, bold font.

But it's more than SW and the Huntsman has given us, which means the poster--and the fact that cameras start rolling, um, now--officially puts Grimm in the lead. At least, time-wise. But at the end of the rat race, it's all about how good these films actually are.

So what are the deets on the second script?

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Kinda blah. Which is a problem since the flick isn't taking the time to retool like Universal's is.

When we heard the film was going to be "edgy," we hoped for a Tim Burton-esque escapade into anotherclassic Disney tale (except, obviously, not as sucky as Alice in Wonderland, duh). But, boy, were we misled.

We hate to burst your bubble, but it ain't edgy, folks. Like, at all.

The script stays pretty light and superficial and doesn't even mess with any of that medieval talk. It's totally modern in that way. And as for the fear factor? Nonexistent. The dragon is pretty lame and the fight scenes are way too tame.

Seriously, the Disney version is scarier.

What the movie does have going for it are a handful of funny lines about plastic surgery and Swiss bank accounts and whatnot courtesyof the fabulously bitchy queen character. We won't lie, we know we're going to love love love Julia Robert's take on the Real Housewives-like queeny.

But that's about as funny as it gets.

'Cause we give it a big, old lame thumbs down on the dwarves. They're now robbers who fart and belch and are generally disgustingall the time. Supposed to be silly, but the jokes are just too stupid to laugh. It's definitely not kick-ass midgets riding mini-ponies, we'll say that!

We do appreciate the 21st century update of Snow White herself, aka Taylor Lautner's real life sweetie Lily Collins. In Grimm, they turn the apple-eating wussy into a woman who can actually fend for herself while the usually heroic prince is kind of a wuss.

But Huntsman basically has that too, so whatever.

As for the peeps playing the prince and princess, Armie Hammer and L.C. are too adorbs, although we know it's going to be one of those cutesy wutsy couplings instead of anything red hot (like we're hopin' for with K.Stew and Chris Hemsworth).

Our current tally? We're giving it to Snow White and The Huntsman for taking its time. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Must admit, we are excited to check out both movies tho--if only to drool over all the hot man candy.

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