It's been nine months since Selma Blair revealed she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and on Thursday, the actress shared a complicated, yet inspiring, update.
In an Instagram post, she opened up to her fans and followers about the ups and downs she's experienced in her battle with the often-degenerative autoimmune disease.
She also shared that, no matter what, she'll reach her ultimate goal: to get back in the saddle again.
"After I gave birth and felt half dead all the time, after the rage and the tears, after my heart exploded with caring and understanding, before any diagnosis, I searched for this horse," the 47-year-old wrote alongside a throwback photo of her leaning in to kiss a white stallion.
She was introduced to the horse, Mr. Nibbles, at Cellar Door Farm, an equestrian facility in southern California that specializes in pairing the right animal to the right rider. Blair referred to the facility as "the only place I was really growing with self love" amid her health struggles.
"He needed to be able to handle kisses. Prerequisite. Truly. And he did," she wrote of Mr. Nibbles.
Due to MS, Blair has been unable to jump with Mr. Nibbles or even ride him.
"We only had a short time before I couldn’t even get to him or stay on," the actress explained. "But he has come so far."
And she wants to catch up with him again.
"Even though I may seem like I have gone farther away, I am learning and getting healthier," Blair wrote, adding that the progress comes, "even as I get seemingly sicker."
However, she's determined that regardless of what MS holds for her future, it'll include reuniting at shows with her special friend.
"I will jump this horse around again," she insisted.
That's not all she plans to do. In order to make getting back into the saddle achievable, Blair wants to get back to business, too.
"Affording horseshows will require some major work opportunities ahead," she wrote. "So I am asking for it all. I am asking. For all of us who want it. Ask. Ask. Listen. I have the unicorn. Now I have to be able to find him again."
She signed off with the hashtag "#loveheals."