Listen, it's not our intention to add to your already enormous FOMO.
We want to reassure you. We want to tell you it's fine you haven't gotten a chance to check out Friday morning's Snap story on the TODAY Show's Snapchat account, @today_show.
But with appearances by Ryan Lochte, Tara Lipinski and Michael Phelps' baby (and Michael Phelps' face, too, thanks to newfangled face-swap technologies), well ... you totally did miss out.
Not to worry, though; we'll walk you through the highlights, scene by scene.
First up, there's Lochte in all his white-haired glory. "Hey, this is Ryan Lochte, at the TODAY Show," our fearless leader begins with a wide-eyed leer.
Then, with the help of a Snap filter (and for no reason at all), he turns into a pineapple and starts vomiting pineapple juice. This part is a lesson in "what to do immediately upon gaining access to a very popular Snapchat account."
Next, Al chimes in with a weather report, noting that it's rainy outside this morning and not exactly the best weather for the Olympics.
Perhaps because of the aforementioned vomiting pineapple incident, Lochte leaves us at this juncture, offering some quick closing remarks before the camera pans to something much more appalling than any nauseated fruit: Baby Boomer Phelps, face-swapped with his dad, Michael Phelps.
HELP. It's an unsettling visual, to say the least.
Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski take over next, and finally, there's Brazilian-American model Camila Alves cooking with our hosts.
Just ... trust us. You don't want to forget to check the goings-on over at @today_show each morning.