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‘Runway’ unveils Fashion Week designers

Eeeek! It’s the last challenge before Bryant Park! Can you stand it? Best of all, Anthony is not only back but riding a win, so part of me is thinking this might be his Cinderfella moment and he’s going to prove to those judges they screwed the pooch giving him the boot because he is back! I love storybook endings, don’t you? I will say I am a little sad that there’s only one girl left, an
/ Source: Hitfix.com

Eeeek! It’s the last challenge before Bryant Park! Can you stand it? Best of all, Anthony is not only back but riding a win, so part of me is thinking this might be his Cinderfella moment and he’s going to prove to those judges they screwed the pooch giving him the boot because he is back! I love storybook endings, don’t you? I will say I am a little sad that there’s only one girl left, and it happens to be Mila, which hardly counts. But this is exciting, isn’t it?

Heidi, wearing a red pregnancy napkin for a dress, sends the kids to a tent... the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey circus tent. Personally, I would have thought Cirque du Soleil was more “PR”’s style, but this is Lifetime, after all, so family friendly it is.

Anyway, Tim arrives to tell the designers that the circus will be the inspiration this week, then the kids are treated to a private circus show. Jay, of course, gets all manner of hot and bothered over the guy acrobats. It goes to show that, if you’re dealing with an audience that’s been deprived of sex for a few months, even the Big Top can seem kinda sleazy.

So, after the smoking hot shirtless acrobats have been put away, the designers sit down to sketch. Emilio’s doing a big ol’ gown. Mila wants to do pants inspired by the ringleader, which probably means, oh, some kind of black and white pattern. Anthony is inspired by an acrobat in some way I don’t fully understand, but I don’t care, because it’s Anthony and he’s just fun. Jay wants to do everything big. Big pleats, big waistbands, but hopefully not big butt. Seth Anthony is inspired to do... something. I guess he’ll come up with it at Mood.

Emilio’s big ol’ ego

After Mood, which is so not exciting, everyone gets to work. It turns out Anthony isn’t the only chatterbox, because Emilio won’t shut up this week. Unfortunately, he won’t shut up about how he intends to win “PR.” Uh, okay. Because everyone else is there to get a free manicure? Seriously, Emilio, I had been rooting for you and now I just want to spank you with a dress form. When even Mila thinks your ego is out of control, man, it’s just time to shut up.

Then, it’s Mila’s turn. While he didn’t give anyone else a scrap of useful advice, damn if he doesn’t tell Mila to scrap her ivory fabric and use the black-and-white stripes. Tim, we don’t want her to go to Bryant Park, remember? No one wants an entire collection of black and white mod dresses, come on!

Finally, Tim goes to Jay. Jay tells Tim he’s going for badass. Or bad bitch. However, the sketch looks pretty Michael Jackson to me, which is, let’s face it, neither one.

Oh crap. I just remembered the promo for tonight’s episode, when Michael (I think) says one of the models looks like a blue condom. The only designer that could apply to is Anthony. I am so sad right now. Especially since Mila’s outfit looks like an outfit for the Evil Queen in “Snow White.”

Alright, this is funny. Anthony calls Jay’s jacket Michael Jackson. So does Mila. Jay is shocked and surprised by this. C’mon, Jay, didn’t you see any of the memorial footage of the guy last year? You want spangled ringmaster with unfortunate childlike tendencies, Michael Jackson was your man.

Mila thinks Jay and Anthony should go home, while Jay thinks she should go home, in part because he hates her guts. Which is just as good a reason as any, really. Emilio just wants to win, so everyone else is pretty much a speed bump on his road to fame and fortune. Yes, Emilio knows how to take the fun right out of the behind-the-back bitchery.

Oooh, runway time! In the judges chairs are Nina, Michael and Cynthia Rowley. A worthy judge, if not a funny judge.

Jay

I don’t love the neckline on the Michael Jackson jacket. The jacket looks too tight. Also, the pleats look like they’re pulling a little, though I do dig the pants.

Mila

Oh look, it’s something to wear to your next fetish-rave. This just looks goofy to me. But I’m sure the judges will be hugely impressed that she used neon. With black and white.

Anthony

I don’t care if this is a blue condom, I think it’s a pretty dress, even though it does seem to fall kind of awkwardly.

Emilio

I dunno. I think this looked better in the work room. It’s still a great dress, but it does need more color.

Seth Aaron

Very Alice in Wonderland. It’s definitely a statement. I think Mila and Seth Aaron’s outfits looks a little weirdly similar, but that might be the stripes.

Time for judging and nail biting! Seth Aaron is the first one on the chopping block. Heidi... liked it. Good sign! Nina liked the sense of drama and fantasy, but thinks it’s a little costume-y. Cynthia liked the gravity-defying aspect. Michael said it’s crazy crotch with the pants, but he likes the jacket.

Anthony is next. Nina likes it from the waist up, but it’s a snooze from the waist down. Cynthia thinks he doesn’t know his fabric. Michael is horrified that it’s polyester. And out comes the big blue condom comment. Anthony is so going home.

Jay says his outfit is bold. Heidi thinks the outfit is boring without the jacket, but Nina thinks the whole thing is beautifully made.

Emilio’s black-and-white dress is up next. Heidi thinks it’s absolutely stunning. Michael says it’s his favorite garment. Nina thinks it speaks to a woman. Emilio is going to Bryant Park.

Who should go?

And then comes the part where the designers explain why they deserve to go to Fashion Week and who they’d like to come with them, otherwise known as Throwing Mila Under the Bus. Seth Aaron wants Jay and Emilio to come with him. Jay wants Seth Aaron and Anthony. And then he starts crying, because he loves Anthony, as we all do, and hopefully not because he’s sure he can beat him. Mila wants Emilio and Seth Aaron. Emilio wants Seth Aaron and Mila. Whaaaaaa? Anthony wants Emilio and Jay. Then he starts crying. I think everyone needs a little nap.

So, I’m sure Anthony’s going home. Not so sure about the second victim, though. It’s either Jay or Mila, but really, could go either way.

The judges duke it out. Emilio is a gimme. Seth Aaron, everyone would be excited to see, so that’s a good sign. Anthony is obviously going home, but Michael Kors kicks him in the side a few times for the polyester first. Okay, we get it, polyester bad, bad poly, bad! Michael says Mila’s work is one dimensional. Cynthia doesn’t think she’s relevant. Oooooh! Me neither!

Michael doesn’t know who Jay is as a designer. Hmmm, he could be aufed.

And now the big reveal! I mean, after a commercial break. Because I really care about Centrum right now. Eeeek!

Pillow assault

Okay, now it’s the big reveal. Emilio is... in. Duh. Now he can get himself and his enormous ego backstage. Seth Aaron is... in! Yay! You know he’s going to design a kick-ass collection. And Emilio beats the hell out of him with a pillow as his way of congratulating him. Must be a designer thing.

Anthony is... out. Sorry, Anthony. I will admit, the polyester was pretty damning. At least he’s had a chance to get used to getting the boot. In Anthony style, he keeps on smiling. Boy, I am going to miss Anthony. Again.

It’s down to Mila and Jay. Heidi thinks Mila stays true to her point of view, because apparently her POV is monochrome. Jay’s look was expected and he played it safe.

Mila is... going to design a collection. Jay is... also going to design a collection. Then, they will duke it out for the third spot. And, if we’re to believe next week’s promo, they both cry like babies. Good times!

Well, this was honestly a somewhat anticlimactic episode. Sadly, Anthony goes home, taking all the fun and good times of the show with him, Mila’s still around and the designs that came out of a day at the circus pretty much looked like, well, what you’d expect from a day at the circus. Or, in Mila’s case, a day at a fetish ball after a visit to Disneyland. But I still have high hopes for Bryant Park. And I’m hoping Jay completely kicks Mila’s ass in their face-off. Boo-yah!