Ricki Lake talks ex-husband's suicide: 'I didn't think I'd ever feel happy again'

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/ Source: TODAY
By Gina Vivinetto

Ricki Lake is opening up about the grief she suffered after her ex-husband Christian Evans died by suicide in 2017.

The 50-year-old talk show host and documentary filmmaker told People she's only now beginning to find joy in life again. “It’s a miracle, but I truly feel on the other side of it,” Lake shared.

Ricki Lake and Christian Evans in 2011.Amanda Edwards / FilmMagic

Lake wed Evans in 2012, but two years into their marriage, the jewelry designer began exhibiting signs of bipolar disorder, which scared Lake and her two sons, Milo, 21, and Owen, 17 (with ex Rob Sussman).

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“It was like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” Lake recalled. “I wanted to save him, but I couldn’t.”

Though the couple split up in 2015, they continued living together, with Lake still supporting Evans “financially and emotionally.”

Evans’ tragic death two years later hit the “Hairspray” actress hard.

“For a long time, I didn’t think I’d ever feel happy again,” Lake revealed.

“I got to experience true depression,” she added. “There were days when I couldn’t get out of bed, and that is a very scary place to be. I’m such a positive person, and to not feel like that was paralyzing.”

With the help of loved ones and therapy — and through her work with Bring Change to Mind, an organization that aims to alter the stigmas of mental illness — Lake eventually began to heal.

In February, Lake revealed she’d “found love again” with Jeff Scult, the founder of clothing company One Golden Thread.

She and director Abby Epstein also recently completed their new documentary, “Weed the People,” about the benefits of medical cannabis.

Still, losing her ex is something Lake will never recover from completely.

“I will mourn the loss of Christian’s beautiful soul every day of my life,” she said. “But human beings are resilient. And life is precious.”