You might not have known you needed relationship advice from Aziz Ansari, but the comedian proves he knows what he's talking about in his new book, "Modern Love."
And a piece of advice for singles trying to woo someone through a smartphone? Stop sending lame texts.
"The thing you see the most — and if you're a guy, it doesn't seem very bad, but it's just saying nothing — is just saying hey, what are you doing, what's going on tonight, what are you up to?" said Ansari, who teamed up with sociologist Eric Klinenberg for the book, a deep dive into how technology has changed today's relationships, from dating apps to emoji-laden pickup lines.
The ubiquitous "what's up" might seem harmless, but it certainly isn't memorable, he explained.
Ansari said the same logic can be applied to dates, speaking at a press event this week in New York City. He told a story about meeting someone during his research who, along with his friends, only took first dates to monster truck rallies.
"And the dates went really well!" Ansari said. "It kind of put them in a situation where they're out of their element a little bit, and it gave them a chance to see what kind of vibe they got from the person, and a little more about their personality."
You'll avoid the boring "resume exchange" that happens on typical dinner-and-drinks dates, he said.
Ansari also suggested that today's singles are too quick to move on when a date isn't perfect, "because they have more options than anyone has ever had before," thanks to online dating and apps like Tinder.
"And it's kind of an epic mistake, I think," he said. "Because people are amazing! People have so much more to show you than what they can show you in one session of drinks."
"There's a lot of social science that shows just the more time you spend with people, no matter who they are, you end up forming a deeper connection with them," Ansari added. "So if you go out with someone and it's like, you know, you thought the date was a six out of 10, maybe give them one more try."
In his book, out this week, he talks about older generations who married someone from the neighborhood because there was no easy way to meet people in other cities or states.
While Ansari shares his own dating mishaps in the book, he's now in a committed relationship with Courtney McBroom, a chef. They're past the monster-truck-rally stage of their relationship, he said — sometimes date night just means staying home to cook dinner with the pasta maker.
"I used to cook a lot, and then you start dating a chef and you're like, oh, I'm horrible. I can't do this anymore," Ansari said. "She's great. She's very good at improvising."