Allison DuBois’s life as a psychic forensic inspired the popular NBC series “Medium.” In her new book, “We Are Their Heaven: Why the Dead Never Leave Us,” she recounts communications she’s received from spirits over the years. Each chapter focuses on a different type of loss —parents, children, friends, and spouses who have lost loved ones through accidents, murder, suicide, and illness. Through her experiences, DuBois shows how the dead are trying to reach their loved ones all the time. She explores timing, coincidence, auditory and sensory communications, dreams, visions, incident manipulation, and streaming events to affirm their attempts. DuBois was invited on “Today” to talk about her book. Read an excerpt:
While writing this book, I decided that giving my perspective is good, but giving my perspective and the perspective of the person whom I read will be more beneficial to my readers. I think it's important for people who are grieving to have others to relate to, people who walk their same path. In this book, the people whom I've read speak in their own words about how they moved forward and what our meeting did for them. I share details about the process of each reading. I also illustrate why being a medium has such a great impact on my life, as well as the lives of my family.
I met a lot of new people through the media tour for my first book, during radio and television interviews and question-and-answer sessions before book signings. I noticed there are common threads of questions. Many people ask what heaven is like. There is an obvious concern around what happens to our deceased loved ones. People wonder about the connection of the dead to the living. I often get questions from people who are concerned that their mourning a loved one is preventing the loved one from fully passing over to the other side.
This book addresses some of the various ways in which people die, for example by suicide or accident, and the different ways in which they show us that they remain. A question that I hear often is, Why do the deceased want to remain after death? Well, of course because they love us, but there are other reasons as well. Our deceased relatives want to connect with the living because our lives are based on emotion and continuing to learn and grow, as are their own. They willingly stay with us to share in our emotion and to help teach us what we need to learn. Often they want to make sure that we don't repeat their mistakes, the things they ended up regretting and would do differently if they had the chance. It also brings them a great deal of joy to share in our lives, especially when we're talking about them or to them. It's important to stay open to the messages that are sent from those who go before us, those who are still a part of us. Part of my book's purpose is to open the living up to the spirits who continue to share in their loved ones' lives. Loving people who have died doesn't hold them here, as some think. It gives them life. They stay around us because we are what they consider utopia, their "heaven."
There is a heaven, a flawless place where we exist after we die. There are white skies and blue water that the eyes of the living cannot see. There are children running through perfect blades of brilliant emerald grass with sunshine bouncing off every strand of their hair. There are old men fishing on the same banks that they fished from when they were boys, with the puppy that died when they were small. Couples who were married for fifty years now look like they did when they were first married, as they stroll hand in hand down a path by a tree. It's all that and more.
Yet even with all that, it's not entirely heaven to those who've died because, usually, not all their loved ones are there. Try to understand: it's the flaws of the living, our attempts to figure out who we are, how to connect with others, and how to spend our time on earth that interests those who've passed. They want to see how our character stands up when we're challenged. They want to see their namesakes move through life. They want to see children born and anniversaries celebrated, help the sick get better, lend strength to us in times of weakness. Parents who die still want to be there for their kids on the days they're needed most. Children who die want to see their parents, siblings, and friends laugh again and, most important, "feel" their presence and continuing love. So, yes, they have a beautiful sanctuary where everything is as it should be, but never forget that we are their heaven.
Excerpted from “We Are Their Heaven: Why the Dead Never Leave Us,” by Allison DuBois. Copyright © 2006, Allison DuBois. All right reserved. Published by No part of this excerpt can be used without permission of the publisher.