On her 30th birthday, Francis Bean Cobain is reflecting on the struggles she faced in the past decade.
The daughter of the late Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love got candid about the self-loathing and trauma she’s been through, and how a near-death experience made her reevaluate her life.
“I made it! Honestly, 20 year old Frances wasn’t sure that was going to happen,” she wrote in an Instagram post on Thursday, alongside a slideshow of personal photos and a meme. “At the time, an intrinsic sense of deep self loathing dictated by insecurity, destructive coping mechanisms & more trauma than my body or brain knew how to handle, informed how I saw myself and the world; through a lens of resentment for being brought into a life that seemingly attracted so much chaos and the kind of pain tied to grief that felt inescapable.”
“Then, an event on a plane which brought me closer in proximity to death is ironically the event that catapulted me towards running at this lived experience with radical gratitude,” she continued. “I’m glad to have proven myself wrong & to have found ways to transform pain into knowledge.”
Cobain continued by sharing a quote by Dr. Jaiya John that resonated with her: “The softer she became with herself, the softer she became with the world.”
“It’s a sentiment I try to remember daily,” she explained, adding that upon entering her new decade she hopes to “stay soft no matter how hardening the world can feel at times, bask in the present moment with reverence, shower the people I am lucky enough to love with more appreciation than words could ever do justice & hold space to keep learning, so the growth never stops.”
She concluded her birthday message by expressing that she’s “happy to be here & I’m happy you’re here too.”
Cobain had previously spoken about her airplane incident in 2017. At the time, she shared a photo of a plane with a damaged engine, per People. In the since-deleted post, Cobain wrote that after she saw the wing catch fire, she “came to grips with my own mortality” and made a deal with herself that she would appreciate life more.
At the beginning of the year, the model shared that she took a year off Instagram and said it “was exceptionally good for my mental, emotional & spiritual health.”
“2021 brought me more into the present moment than I’ve ever been, which I’m deeply grateful for,” she added in her Instagram post.