Drew Barrymore isn’t afraid to ask for help with her love life.
The “Drew Barrymore Show” host opened up about her recent dating experiences and became emotional as she spoke about accepting love during an episode of the “On Purpose with Jay Shetty” podcast on Jan. 30.
While being interviewed by life coach and former monk Jay Shetty, the 47-year-old discussed her current relationship status.
She recalled going on “the best date” with a guy that she initially thought would lead to a second date.
“We made a plan for that weekend and we were texting back and forth,” Barrymore explained. “And it was so cute. I really liked him. I was like, ‘What a nice guy.’”
Although the “Charlie’s Angels” star did not reveal the mystery man’s name, she shared that he was in the news business and that she found his job attractive. Despite the sparks, their connection quickly fizzled out.
“I never heard from him again,” she said. “I guess that’s what you call getting ghosted. I was like, ‘Whoa, that is so…Oh, wow. That’s so weird.’”
Barrymore then referenced an episode of “Sex and the City” and compared it to being ghosted.
She explained one Season Six storyline involving Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her boyfriend Jack Berger (Ron Livingston).
In the episode, Jack breaks up with Carrie via a Post-it note that says “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.” His decision was heavily criticized by fans at the time, but the talk show host said that Jack’s actions were actually commendable by today’s standards.
She told Shetty, “That is the most giving thing that I could ever ask for in modern society being a single girl.”
“‘I’m sorry.’ Okay, great. ‘I can’t.’ Thank you. Now, I know where you’re at. I know to move on. This is so informative. I appreciate the gracefulness and the graciousness of you just telling me there’s no there there. And ‘Don’t hate me.’ Okay, I get it you’re being self effacing. This is maybe not kosher, but that’s okay. Because it’s your truth,” she explained.
She continued, “You can’t be mad at people because they’re not what we want them to be.”
Connecting the show to her dating experience, Barrymore said after being ghosted she thought, “I just wish I could get that Jack Berger Post-it note.”
The two laughed about her pop culture reference before they chatted about the difference between giving and receiving love.
“I have a question for you,” Barrymore began as her voice broke and she started to cry. “How do you tell people to receive love?”
She tearfully shared that she is great at being loving toward her friends and two daughters, 10-year-old Olive and 8-year-old Frankie, but she struggles to accept love.
“I am so stuck and I’m the person who doesn’t want to be stuck,” Barrymore said. “I don’t care necessarily what others do or what happens. I want to know what work I could do to take my walls down, believe and trust because I am really trying to figure that out right now.”
She said she is grateful for her children, friends and coworkers and she doesn’t feel like she needs love.
“I’m still scared or nervous or I don’t have any information that shows me that that’s a safe space,” she added before asking for advice again.
Shetty simply explained that society prioritizes romantic love when there are other types of love to appreciate and experience. He said the love she has for her family and friends is just as valuable.
This is not the first time Barrymore has addressed her search for love following her divorce from Will Kopelman, who is the father of her two daughters, in 2015.
In October, she penned a vulnerable essay on her personal blog about how her view of intimacy has evolved.
“I lived a very rich full life,” she wrote. “However, after two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters. I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while.”
She revealed that her therapist recently helped her understand that sex is not love but rather an expression of love.
Barrymore said she now realizes that intimacy should make her feel good about herself and that she has not had an intimate relationship since her divorce.
“I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday,” she wrote. “I need time.”