Naming names: When Dave runs into a priest he knew in his prior life, Edie gets suspicious. She seeks out the good reverend at church and begs him to tell her the secrets her husband won't reveal. The priest refuses to break Dave's confidence, but he does let one thing slip accidentally — Dave's real last name, Dash. Edie starts her online search for "DAVID DASH" that night. How long till she finds the article about Mike and Susan being involved in the accident that killed Dave's wife and daughter?
Your cheatin' heart: Gaby tried to keep Carlos' boss' affair secret, but the frustration of watching him cheat on his pregnant wife, Maria, was too much for her. She tried talking to his hairdresser mistress, Shayla, but in the end, told boss Brad he had to tell his wife or she would. Brad said he'd tell her, but he'd also fire Carlos. Just as Carlos was perusing the want ads, Maria called Gaby. Brad had told her, yes, he had. And she'd stabbed him to death for it. So ... Carlos still has his job, then?
Get a job: When Lynette hears that Bree's publisher is hiring an advertising manager, she finagles a dinner invite, hoping the job will be right for Tom. But the more she hears about the position, the more Lynette herself wants it, leading to a most unattractive marital war at Bree's table. In the end, neither of them gets the offer, and Lynette starts thinking about getting back into the rat race. (Need further proof that this show is pure fantasy? The advertising job includes two-week trips to Paris with stays in five-star hotels. Ha ha ha ha ha!)
Picture, picture: Katherine loves a pretty beach painting she'd hung in her and Mike's shared home — until she learned Susan painted it, of her and Mike's honeymoon destination. At a party, Katherine lies that the painting broke, but snoopy Susan finds it intact and blabs to Mike. He calls Katherine on it and makes her apologize, but she points out to Susan that life with Susan's ex is hard enough without a constant memory of their happy days. Susan finally gets it, and reclaims the artwork for herself.
To catch a thief: Orson notes that unemployed Tom is treated with much more kindness than unemployed Orson was. Tom claims it's not the same — Orson went to jail for something he actually did, thus losing his dental practice. But Orson could still use a little respect, and even wife Bree doesn't have sympathy for him. So he's taken to pocketing small things — a tape recorder from Bree's boss, a salt shaker from Tom's restaurant, and one of Bree's earrings. Did he not learn that crime does not pay?
Best line: When Brad's mistress claims his wife can't be pregnant because he says he's not sleeping with her, Gaby shrieks, "Well call the Vatican, because we're going to need a manger and some hay!"