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Adam Sandler roasts himself in acceptance speech written by his daughters

Sandler's memorably biting speech spared neither him nor his two daughters.
/ Source: TODAY

Adam Sandler has got this comedy thing down. The funnyman gave a brilliant takedown of himself when he delivered a hilariously self-deprecating speech he said his daughters wrote while accepting the performer tribute award at the Gotham Awards on Nov. 28.

Sandler said he was too busy to write a speech, electing to hand off the job to his daughters.

“I told my daughters Sadie and Sunny, who are 16 and 14, that I didn’t write a speech and they said phrases like, ‘Rude’ and ‘You’re mean,’” Sandler began.

“I said, ‘Well, Daddy’s f------ tired. Daddy f------ works hard, calm down.’ They were like, ‘Can we write your speech, Daddy? So you got something to say.’ I said, ‘Absolutely. It would be nice to see you do something other than watch YouTube or go to f------ Lululemon.’”

Editor’s note: This video contains some profanities.

Sandler then plowed headfirst into the crux of his speech, reading from his daughters' perspective.

“‘Dear well-dressed dignitaries, highly educated hipsters and various other plus-ones of the Gotham Awards — thank you for giving our daddy, Mr. Adam Sandler, this prestigious lifetime, all-time, primetime G.O.A.T. achievement tribute award,’” he said.

“‘It means a lot to him, seeing as most of the awards on his trophy shelf are shaped like popcorn buckets, blimps or fake mini Oscars that say ‘Father of the Year,’ which he sadly purchased himself while wandering in a self-pitying fog through the heads hops of Times Square,’” he said.

Sandler then ripped into his appearance.

“‘First off, we would like to begin by apologizing for Daddy’s disturbingly unkempt beard,” he said. “‘He is under the illusion it hides the hamburger grease colored flesh waves of his triple chin, but to us, it just makes his head look like someone threw black and gray Corn Flakes on a f------ bean bag.’”

Adam Sandler with the Performer Tribute award at The Gotham Awards
Adam Sandler with the performer tribute award at the Gotham Awards on Nov. 28, 2022 in New York City.Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images

The “Waterboy” star then took a shot at his own girls.

“We also wish we could be at tonight’s award show with all of you sophisticated people, but Daddy said, and we quote, ‘I don’t want to spend a whole night that’s supposed to be about me and my greatness listening to you two newly pubetized buffoons screaming, “Where is Timothée Chalamet and how can we legally squeeze that fine little Jewish ass of his?”‘”

The five-time Emmy nominees then had some fun by comparing himself to another comedy icon.

“‘Just know while Daddy is with you tonight, we’re doing everything we’re not allowed to do when Daddy’s home, like eat his Yodels or try on his Spanx or, dare we say, laugh out loud at Ben Stiller movies,’” he joked.

Sandler, who has starred in such comedies as “Big Daddy,” “The Waterboy,” “The Wedding Singer,” “Billy Madison” and “Happy Gilmore,” took another shot at his body of work.

“‘Daddy’s silly film career began in 1988, formed by two guiding principles: People in prison need movies too and TBS needs content,’” he said.

Sandler continued to poke fun by playfully referencing how ‘Big Daddy’ was the reason he could afford to buy houses for various family members, braces for his kids and why co-star Rob Schneider could buy a house and braces. He kept mining for laughs, but wound up doing what he has always done so well when he showed off a sensitive side as he ended the speech by breaking character in a move that even his daughters would surely appreciate.

“I appreciate everything,” he said, as the audience cheered him on.

“I had a great career, I had a great time making all these movies. I thank everybody who worked hard on them,” he added.

CORRECTION (Nov. 30, 2022, 6:10 a.m.): An earlier version of this article misstated the date of the Gotham Awards. The ceremony was held on Nov. 28, not Nov. 29.