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/ Source: TODAY
By Randee Dawn

Mayim Bialik has been sharing her "Big Bang Theory" character Amy's wedding journey on social media for a few weeks now, and clearly she's been having fun with it.

The Monetary Insufficiency
Mayim Bialik, as Amy on "The Big Bang Theory," has mixed emotions about putting on wedding dresses.CBS

But behind the scenes, she revealed in a personal vlog she posted Friday, it wasn't all smiles and twirls.

Bialik, who was married from 2003 to 2012 and has two sons, Miles, 12, and Frederick, 9, says in the video, "I don't know if that's in my life's journey to be in a wedding dress again, so I don't know; it's just hard ... it's hard."

The 42-year-old said picking the dress "brought up a lot of things that I personally am not comfortable with," specifically "being a divorced woman trying on traditional wedding dresses."

She expressed concern that everyone would now ask her about future remarrying plans. "Ultimately, and this is hard, I wonder if people will feel pity for me," she said. "Because I tried to be married once, I was in that position, and ... I failed."

The personal element wasn't her only concern; she wondered about the purpose of wedding gowns overall.

The Monetary Insufficiency
Amy (Bialik) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons) are hoping for success with the dress.CBS

"To modify a dress that you're literally going to wear once and probably rarely, if ever, look again while there are homeless children on the streets of every city in this country, it just didn't sit well with me."

But, she noted, an odd thing happened on the day she had to try all those dresses on: "I actually liked the way that I looked in these dresses," she says. "Like, even the traditional frilly ones."

Amy and Sheldon are expected to tie the knot on the May 10 episode of "Big Bang Theory."

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