Actress and neuroscientist Mayim Bialik has been in the headlines recently.
Earlier this week, the "Big Bang Theory" star re-created her iconic scene from the 1988 hit film "Beaches" with co-star Marcie Leeds. But the resident funny girl of television is also getting serious about a topic she's never discussed publicly before: her divorce.
Bialik, 40, took to her popular YouTube channel on Aug. 18 to open up to her fans for the first time. In a video titled "Divorce," the mother of two young boys addresses what life is really like in a post-divorce world, and how she manages co-parenting in a real-life modern family.
In the clip, Bialik starts off by stating that this video is different from the others: "I'm divorced, and have been since my kids were 4 and 7," she says.
Now, three years after separating from her ex-husband, Michael Stone, the four-time Emmy nominee says she's kept mum on the topic so as not to potentially violate her former spouse's privacy, or that of her children's — until now.
"However, I'd like to talk about it in a way that might help some of you who are going through something similar," she says, "or might educate people as to what divorce can look like in some families."
Bialik lays it out in three (maybe not-so-simple) steps:
1. Do things together.
The actress aims to establish the healthiest possible environment for her children to thrive in within the realm of divorce, and that means spending time with her ex-husband. They celebrate holidays together, attend synagogue together and make an effort to bring the family under one roof.
"Is it always perfect, and exactly what I want?" she says. "Of course not. But we all end up being together, and that's literally what's most important."
2. Continue to be part of each other's families.
"I still talk to my ex-husband's mother, and father, and grandparents, and aunts and uncles," she says.
No room for awkwardness here! Why? "Divorce isn't the end of a family," Bialik says. "It's the end of a nuclear family. It's the end of a family living in one house. But we still have responsibilities to each other's families, and to our children as a family."
She maintains that a closer unit, in spite of divorce, only serves to "strengthen" her children's lives.
3. Try to model good behavior.
For Bialik, this means no "trash talk" occurs, whether it's in front of the kids or not. Instead, she and Stone have set the precedent to sustain a positive flow of conversation when discussing one another.
But make no mistake — she admits that "things my ex did when we were married that annoyed me then, annoy me still."
"So why put the effort in?" she argues. "Life's not a dress rehearsal."
She even gives Stone well-deserved recognition for how "courageously" he has devoted his life to being a full-time father in the midst of her busy career, telling her followers that the best thing she can do is be grateful for what a "wonderful" parenting teammate she has, and "continue to shatter the image of the perfect family."
"We get to make the most of what we have," she continues. "And in some cases, we get to make the most of what we have left. That's what families do."
She reminds people to let go of thoughts that dwell on the past.
"The more time you spend being present with what is, the bigger the potential for that happiness to grow."