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Leg infection forces Joe to leave ‘Survivor’

"Survivor" is used to sending someone off the show every week. But this week's departure was a little different. Joe wasn't voted off, he had to leave for medical reasons.
/ Source: contributor

Your body has spoken: Joe was evacuated from the game due to an infection, and he said it was awful to be effectively "blindsided by your own body." Examined by medical staff after the immunity challenge, he told the show's doctor, "I want ya'll to tell me if you don't go home right now, you're going to lose the leg." She basically told him that, noting that because the infection could spread to his blood, he would "risk death." Joe told us that he learned that "mother nature's a pretty awesome force" but having to leave the game "sucks, man." The other effect of his injury was, as Jeff Probst told the newly merged tribe at their camp, "the impact on you guys is no Tribal Council."

Reprieve: Joe's departure did not suck for Brendan, who "just seems like a sneaky bastard," Tyson said, and thus was the intended victim of a new alliance: Tyson, Coach, Stephen, JT, and Debbie. Even Brendan's Exile alliance mate Taj said, "I don't trust him any more." The group planned to vote for Brendan and Sierra, splitting the vote in case Brendan played his idol. But now he has another three days.

Introducing Forza: The four Jalapao members and six Timbira members merged to form a new tribe, which they named Forza, the Portuguese word for "strength," apparently. Stephen first offered the word "Dingus," but as someone said, "I can't hear [Probst saying], 'Come on in, Dingus.'"

Dragon idiot: Although Coach didn't come up with the idea of splitting the vote, he was, at best, only one player in the new alliance, as he didn't seem as actively involved in pulling the plan together as Tyson. Still, he took credit, naturally, and told us, "call me the orchestrator" or "call me the dragon slayer. ... You guys call me whatever you want to." Okay, delusional megalomaniacal idiot.

How to tell the editors hate you: Besides the fact that the editors always show us Coach saying dumb things (he said merging tribes was "like getting a new girlfriend. There's all kinds of things to explore"), Coach was shown meditating, and "Survivor"'s editors set the scene to an epic score and silhouetted Coach against the rising sun. Clearly, they find him to be as outrageously over-the-top and insufferable as we do.

Idiots R Survivors: Tyson said he didn't mind targeting Sierra because he's never liked her. "I have no clue why she's out here except to give hope to stupid people around the world," he said. Yes, hope that someday, they, too, can be mocked by a Mormon bicyclist on national television.

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