When Lady Gaga rolled up to the MTV Video Music Awards, the world was agog at the identity of her high-profile date — America's frog next door, Kermit the Frog.
After all, the movie and TV star, singer and former pollywog had long been linked romantically to frequent costar Miss Piggy. Had he gone from mild-mannered Muppet to amphibian Jon Gosselin?
Not at all, Kermit insists. He fesses up about his date with Lady Gaga (who called him, not vice versa) and his relationship with a certain pig, dispenses advice to Kanye West and hints at why you haven't seen him and Fozzie Bear out on the town together, in this special Q & A with PEOPLE.com.
PEOPLE: So how'd this date with Lady Gaga go down, exactly?
Kermit: Well, I wouldn't really call it a "date" — at least not if I don't want to end up as a coat for Miss Piggy. Y'see, I just gave Lady Gaga a ride to the VMAs, and when Lady Gaga left her credentials in the limo, I had to bring them to her. (On the off-chance security didn’t recognize her. Hey, it could happen.) Of course, after Lady Gaga and I were seen on the red carpet together, well … Miss Piggy got a little jealous. But I definitely did get a ride home — in the trunk!
PEOPLE: So let's get down to brass tacks. Does this mean you and Miss Piggy have called it quits?
Kermit: Miss Piggy and I have not called it quits, and that's because we do not have that kind of relationship. We are colleagues and close friends. Sometimes too close. Waaaay too close. We still work together all the time. In fact, in early December, you can catch us together singing with Andrea Bocelli on the Andrea Bocelli & David Foster: My Christmas, a new holiday special for PBS. Piggy was jealous I was going to sing with Andrea ... until she found out Andrea is a guy. And a handsome guy at that. Then, I got jealous!
PEOPLE: How'd you and Lady Gaga get on away from the cameras? Is she a good kisser?
Kermit: Lady Gaga is a wonderful person. In private, she is very down to earth … which is where I spend most of my time. As far as kissing Lady Gaga goes: she is a very good kisser, but it was not a romantic kiss. It was a kiss for good luck. Kissing a frog is good luck for the person giving the kiss — but bad luck for the frog if his pig finds out.
PEOPLE: Your average guy would probably be creeped out by a woman who'd just been photographed wearing a dress made out of, well, him (or close relatives). Yet you didn't seem to have an issue with that Kermit dress she wore in Germany in July. What are your feelings about that outfit of hers?
Kermit: Actually, no actual amphibians were harmed in the making of that frog coat. In fact, after she checked the coat, she gave those frogs the rest of the night off. As for what she was wearing to the VMAs — I was just happy it wasn't made from anyone I recognized.
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}Taylor Swift. After years of working with Miss Piggy, I've gotten really good at not letting anyone else grab the mic.
PEOPLE: Did you confront Kanye West after the Taylor Swift incident?
Kermit: I didn't see Kanye after the incident, but I would have told him to do what he's been doing: apologize. It's not that easy being wrong, but if you own up to your mistake, you'll almost always be forgiven. There are exceptions, but I won’t mention her by name.
PEOPLE: Are you and Lady Gaga going to be seeing each other again?
Kermit: We don’t have anything planned, but I'm sure Lady Gaga and I will run into each other again soon. That is, unless Miss Piggy gets that restraining order against her.
PEOPLE: Coincidentally enough, Lady Gaga was photographed wearing a black Marc Jacobs dress in September that Miss Piggy had been photographed wearing in August. Who do you think wore it better?
Kermit: I have to say Miss Piggy. That isn't necessarily my answer, but since she's standing over my shoulder, it's what I have to say.
PEOPLE: We haven't seen you hanging out with Fozzie Bear, Gonzo or the rest of the gang in a while. Should people be concerned that there's been a falling out? Will we see the Muppets ride again soon?
Kermit: We're together all the time and we've been very busy. You know how Hollywood is: It takes forever to get projects off the ground — especially when you’re working with frogs, pigs and bears. Anyway, our Emmy-nominated special “A Muppet Christmas: Letters To Santa” will be out on DVD on Sept. 29, and it will air on NBC on Dec. 15. And I'll be singing “I Believe” in this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with Tiffany Thornton from Disney Channel's “Sonny with a Chance.” And, as for 2010: It's going to be even busier … at least it will be if Miss Piggy ever lets me out of the trunk.