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Jimmy Kimmel is giving his wife some major griddle skill envy. And it’s left her more than irked. She says it makes her life a living hell.
In a humorous essay for The Washington Post, Molly McNearney described her husband’s penchant for making adorable pancake art as annoying, but in "a highly productive, quietly creative, intensely aggravating way.”
It’s also left her feeling a bit inadequate.
McNearney, the co-head writer for “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” said she no longer can just pour the couple’s 3-year-old toddler a bowl of Cheerios in the morning. At least, not when Kimmel is around to make his adorable pancakes.
"And not your average pancakes. He makes art. With pancake batter. Like a lumberjack psychopath," she wrote in the essay.
It wasn't always that way, McNearney noted. Kimmel originally made their daughter, Jane, "normal" pancakes about a year ago.
"She enjoyed them, and we were delighted,” she said.
But then Kimmel started experimenting with plastic squeeze bottles and organic food coloring. He also purchased food decorating pens.
“He started with red heart-shaped pancakes on Valentine’s Day. He did not use a cookie cutter. He freestyled. Jane loved them. I loved them. We ate them together, and I admired his thoughtfulness,” McNearney, 39, recalled.
A few days later, he made a “delightful three-color clown,” and everyone appreciated the handiwork.
“Then he got aggressive. He made Dory. She was perfect. Next, a full-color Thomas the Tank Engine. He made Nemo and a Spider-Man who, I swear, rolled his eyes at me,” McNearney said.
Next came Snoopy and Charlie Brown and “even Lightning McQueen the morning after he hosted the Oscars," she noted.
Kimmel tweeted about his early efforts back when he bragged about fashioning his daughter's breakfast in the form of Dory, the "Finding Nemo" character voiced by his friend, Ellen DeGeneres.
But since then, his artistic ability has since become his wife’s burden: Their daughter now demands pancake art even when her dad isn’t home.
“I try to sell her on a bowl of oatmeal. I tell her it’s Wonder Woman food. She doesn’t buy it,” said McNearney, who also has a 10-month-old son with Kimmel. “She demands the edible art she is accustomed to. I cave and nervously promise her a pancake. ‘I’ll make you a ‘brown ball’!’ She looks at me with confusion, followed by pity and then disgust. A tantrum follows.”
Struggling parents everywhere can sympathize with McNearney, who admitted that part of her problem is a lack of similar artistic skill.
“Being a mother is hard enough,” she said. “Pancake artist is NOT in the job description. I attempted a smiley face once. I don’t want to talk about it.”