A few (publishable) wisecracks from Bernie Mac, the popular (and sometimes salty) actor and comedian who died Saturday at age 50:
Bernie Mac on kids
Kids are “nasty, dirty, disease-carrying midgets” who are “too sassy, too grown and talk back too much,” he declared in his role as the put-upon dad in his 2001-06 comedy series, “The Bernie Mac Show.” He then told viewers, “Bernie Mac just say what you want to say, but can’t.”
On having a black first lady
“Having a black first lady is different,” Mac told the audience at a Chicago fundraiser for Barack Obama last month. “You’re still going have to do the dishes and the laundry and all that. ...
“’You didn’t pick up the kids?’
“’I just came from Korea, talking about nuclear weapons.’
“’You were on Air Force One and you couldn’t stop to pick up the kids?”’
Rawer parts of Mac’s surprise warm-up for the Democratic presidential hopeful offended members of the audience — as well as the Obama campaign.
On being poor, and fried bologna
“We were poor,” Mac recalls in his 2004 book “Maybe You Never Cry Again”:
“You know how to tell if a person’s poor? You look in the fridge. If there’s nothing in there but bologna, you’re talkin’ serious poor. Mmmm, but that bologna was good! We used to fry it up till a black circle formed at the edges, then roll it like a hot dog and eat it slow, make it last. ... Lots of beans in our house, too. Pinto beans. Lima beans. Red beans. And cereal. Only you’d be eating it with a fork, leave the milk at the bottom for the next guy. I ain’t lyin’.”