The voice of the AFLAC duck has been named the Unsexiest Man in the World.
Comedian Gilbert Gottfried tops the list compiled by the Boston Phoenix's Web site. The list is a mix of entertainers, sports stars, even terrorists. Osama bin Laden is number eight on the list.
Of Gottfried, the Phoenix says "The parrot-voiced, pickled-face comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman."
The alternative weekly's number-two choice might reveal their Boston Red Sox hometown bias: The choice is New York Yankee pitcher Randy Johnson.
The list fills out the top five with media personalities Roger Ebert, Dr. Phil, and Alan Colmes.
Others on the unsexy list include Michael Jackson, Jerry Seinfeld, Ron Howard, and Clay Aiken. Of Aiken, the runner-up to Ruben Studdard on "American Idol 2," the site snarks "he still looks like someone's bratty little brother."
Other musicians show up on the list as well. Nickelback's Chad Kroeger gets dissed for "massive head, weird face, and bad hair," as well as for simply being in Nickelback, which the magazine calls "the worst band since the dawn of music." And My Chemical Romance member Gerard Way is labeled the "luckiest dude since Ringo."
Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline ranks 99th, with the comment "Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days."
Sneaking in at number 100 is Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt? He made the list because of rumors about bad hygiene.
Perhaps all the ugliness made the writers exhausted — about halfway through the article, they simply start listing names, sans commentary, for many of the men.
Phoenix readers are having their own say by commenting on the online article. Not all of them are thrilled with the choices or the methodology.
Says one "There is 1 major problem with this list, 2 GUYS WROTE IT! Why are 2 guys writing the '100 most unsexy men list'?" Says another "First of all, Kevin Federline should be #1."