If you've watched Pretty Woman, you've seen a polo match.
But if you've watched Prince William and Kate Middleton at a polo match, then you've learned a valuable thing--or five--about the sport.
Ready to take notes?
RELATED: Prince Harry also played polo today...in England
1. Polo Is a Really, Really Easy Game to Follow: All you have to do is follow the bouncing, lunging blue No. 4 jersey worn by the future King of England. (At least that's what a good 90 percent of the spectators at the Santa Barbara Polo &Raquet Club did.) If you want to appear especially astute, let out a cheer whenever the aforementioned future King of the England hits the little round ball with his long stick thingy.
2. Polo Is Not Unlike a High-School Football Game: If you had the chance to spy Kate in the stands, as we did via the eagle eye of an E! News' camera, then you noticed she smiled a lot, clapped when her husband did well--and, above all, chatted away with her seatmates. (Well, it's not like it's a hard game to follow, after all...)
3. The Other Guys Will Not Let You Win Just 'Cause You May Be, Like, the Future King of England: Could there have been any winner today other than William? The TV show that was pretaping its congratulatory standups didn't seem to think so. But before the tournament, Wesley Ru, a player whose team was pitted against William's, told us that going easy on the royal was unthinkable. "We have to give him the respect and the honor of being tough competitors," he said. And, as if proof of that, the other guys (and woman) stifled William in the first match. (It was in the prince's second match that he made like a superstar, and knocked in his team's first four goals.)
4. Pretty Woman Lied: The Foundation Polo Challenge was an A-plus-list charity event in which the cheap seats went for $400 a pop, and sporting types ponied up as much as $100,000 for the privilege of playing alongside William. In short, it was way ritzier than that shindig Julia Roberts went to with Richard Gere. And you know what? It wasn't snooty at all. There was a table selling T-shirts, caps and plastic ponies. You could've totally pumped your fist without reproach. (Also, so you know, nobody who was anybody you would know wore a hat--Kate included.)
5. If You're on the Winning Team, and You're a Handsome Duke, Then You Get Two Kisses From a Lovely Duchess: Granted, this is a very, very specific lesson, and cannot be applied to any match that wasn't played this afternoon in Santa Barbara, or to any couple who isn't William and Kate. But it was still a thrill for the crowd to watch.