The days of perpetual beach bodies and gratuitous shirtlessness have come to an end, as “Lost’s” highly anticipated series finale has aired. While fans of the island drama are mourning the mysteries, some may find they’ll miss the men even more. Call it a bit shallow (it is!), but finale night marked the close of a weekly tradition — deserted-island date night with a pack of preternaturally handsome castaways.
From the classic good looks of Jack, Jin and Desmond, to the smoldering sex appeal of Sayid, Sawyer and Richard, to straight up silver fox Christian Shephard and an assortment of other easy-on-the-eyes guys, pound for pound, no other show on television packs nearly as many hot men as “Lost” did.
All of which means television has lost a big part of its prime-time sex appeal. What’s a fan of the fellas to do? Channel surf for the best of the rest.
Just to be clear, in this case, the best doesn’t mean the most “Lost”-like. Eye candy creates the crossover crowd for these shows. If a little mystery or mayhem happens to sneak in, it’s simply a bonus.
The closest thing “Lost” fans are likely to find in the way of big, ensemble satisfaction comes in the form of Bayou-based vamp show “True Blood.”
A trio of attractive characters — like Bill Compton, Sam Merlotte and Jason Stackhouse — would be reason enough to recommend the dark drama. Then again, Eric Northman would be, too. For the “True Blood” uninitiated, Eric (played by Alexander Skarsgård), is a bit like Sawyer in a sloppy blond hair, piercing blue eyes and born-to-not-wear-a-shirt sense — only hotter. No, really.
Need yet another reason to watch? While the greatness that is resident scene-stealer Lafayette must be seen to be believed, it’s safe to say, his form will leave a lasting impression, too.
And now for something completely different. Trailing just behind “True Blood” (at least where the best gents are concerned) isn’t a drama, but a spectacle — “Dancing With the Stars.” That’s right, the reality dance competition full of glitz, glam and good-looking guys.
While “Dancing” is no “Lost” replacement, the bi-annual dance-off offers viewers a wide selection of men who make missing those island-types a little easier to bear. Ukrainian ballroom champ Maksim Chmerkovskiy, winning pro Derek Hough and second-generation soft shoe Mark Ballas are worth the watch, and an always reliable rotation of sexy celebrities serves as a welcome bonus.
Of course with the current season of the bash ending just days after “Lost’s” last stand, viewers will have to wait a few months before the ballroom boys return.
Those looking for a white-haired Christian Shephard substitute need look no farther than Don’s business partner Roger Sterling. And thankfully, unlike Christian, the resident divorcee gets plenty of screen time.
“Supernatural” offers another onscreen hotspot, thanks to its two leading characters, brothers Sam and Dean Winchester. Though they don’t have the support of an eye-pleasing ensemble, the Winchester men don’t really need it.
The demon-hunting duo simply goes about their paranormal business, looking remarkably good along the way.
Reruns mean never saying goodbye If none of those options fill the “Lost” void, date night with Jack and the gang can always continue in the form of reruns and DVDs. Or, on the off chance one wants a break from the electromagnetic whatzits and meandering mysteries, other second-run shows can stand in instead.
With its own series finale airing just a month after “Lost’s,” “The Tudors” can’t offer fresh content, but its four season’s worth of a trashy-as-classy retelling of Henry VIII’s history isn’t so bad.
Since first airing, the period piece has introduced, and at times cruelly killed, a long line of visually appealing characters. But two of the show’s central sexy figures continue — the fickle king himself, Henry, and his BFF, the Duke of Suffolk, Charles Brandon.
The creators of “The Tudors” clearly took a heavy artistic license when it came to casting Jonathan Rhys Meyers in the role of the robust monarch. Seeing how that resulted in an often barely clothed Rhys Meyers on the small screen, no complaints.
Another option for those on a manhunt is “Oz.” The penitentiary drama ended seven years ago, but thanks to DVDs, the guys look just as good today as they ever did.
Shower scenes with Christopher Keller, Toby Beecher, Peter Schibetta, the short-lived Ronnie Barlog and a list of other revolving-door inmates gave viewers a few good reasons to have a closer look at life behind bars. For “Lost” fans, there are a couple of added bonuses.
“Oz’s” one-man Greek chorus, Augustus Hill, was played by none other Harold Perrineau of Michael fame. And if Adebisi bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Eko, well, it’s no coincidence. Even the men behind Miles and Matthew Abaddon make appearances.
Of course, none of these alternates can truly replace the “Lost” men. The handsome band of good guys, bad guys and still-haven’t-figured-them-out guys make for a unique viewing experience. Then again, as every fan of the male form knows, investigating a host of other hot options isn’t exactly a waste of time.
Thanks to reruns and a vivid imagination, Desmond will continue to be Ree Hines’ TV constant. Follow her on Twitter and tell her about your main men at twitter.com/ReeHines.