Being no stranger to Zooey Deschanel's wrath, we certainly are glad we're not the Los Angeles Times right now.
The actress took aim at veteran Times writer Patt Morrison today in response to a column entitled, "Downtown L.A.: Good Enough for the Royals but Not for Zooey Deschanel?" in which Morrison questioningly referred to the cutie as a "snobby cow" for slighting her stomping grounds.
For her part, Morrison's piece was a response to Deschanel's reported remark at a BAFTA event at a downtown theater in which she expressed concern that Prince William and Kate Middleton were being treated to "the worst of L.A."
Well, did the (500) Days of Summer star actually say that about the city that was practically was its own character in her indie hit?
"Let me be clear: the quote from USA Today that you used as the foundation of your piece was taken completely out of context," Deschanel wrote in an open letter posted on HelloGiggles.com. "I NEVER said that Downtown LA was 'the worst of LA.'"
"I did make a reference to a parking lot adjacent to the theater that had a lot of trash in it in an attempt to be humorous. I simply said, 'It's funny they brought royalty here, there is a parking lot with trash around the corner.' It wasn't an opinion. It was true. There was indeed a parking lot with trash around the corner. I thought that the juxtaposition of British Royalty and trash was amusing in a high-brow + low brow sort of way, but I never said that I, personally, didn't like downtown, the Royals, or even trash."
In fact, she loves downtown, insisted the L.A. native, who attended BAFTA's celeb-and-royals-studded "Brits to Watch" gala at the Belasco Theater on Saturday.
"I have pride in my city, that's the reason why I thought it was kind of funny that they didn't clean up the immediate surroundings before the Royals came through," Deschanel wrote.
To Morrison directly, the New Girl star stated, "I was completely and utterly shocked that a professional journalist, whom I have never met, would take a partial quote out of context and use it as the basis for a misguided personal attack. Further, I find it appalling that you would resort to name-calling to get your point across. In a court of law this would be called hearsay, and in journalism, I believe this should be the beginning of an investigation, not the end of one."
Indeed, Morrison, who also hosts a show on NPR affiliate KPCC-FM, did not hold back with either the slams or the sarcasm.
"I cannot apologize enough to Ms. Deschanel that in some places, the sidewalks do not smell like Jo Malone candles," she wrote as she proceeded to fervently defend the area's virtues.
"Ms. Deschanel's remarks are all the more gob-smacking because the success of her 2009 film (500) Days of Summer is chiefly thanks to ... downtown L.A.," Morrison continued. "Did Ms. Deschanel not look any farther than her trailer door?
"Maybe spending a little time at the inner-city arts school, or at the downtown women's shelter, might do her even more good than it could do to help out those laudable places. I mean, if it's not too hard for her to set foot once again in 'the worst of L.A.'"
We doubt it'll be a problem for Deschanel, so long as she doesn't cross paths with a certain columnist.