Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell defined what it means to be a reality TV show judge, and single-handedly made “American Idol” a phenomenon. His abrasive, aggressively honest comments about bad singers were featured on ads before the show first debuted and led viewers to turn in to watch him tear people apart. After six seasons, Simon has unquestionably become repetitive with his insults, but he remains an important cast member. Paula Abdul is ignorable, and Randy Jackson only occasionally offers coherent comments, and thus Simon is the only “American Idol” judge that the contestants and most viewers — actually want to hear.
Mary Murphy
In the world of crazy reality show judges, Paula Abdul is out, and “So You Think You Can Dance” judge Mary Murphy is in. She fills the Paula Abdul role in that she’s crazy, but unlike Paula, seems to acutely aware of that and also actually makes sense. Murphy’s signature scream just erupts from nowhere, and often follows hysterically weird praise. In addition, she’s crazy in a fun way, exuding positive energy when she declares dancers are aboard the “hot tamale train.” She’s never in danger of bursting into tears or falling asleep, the way Paula often is.
Michael Kors
Judges on reality shows need to be knowledgeable, articulate and entertaining, or some combination of those, but “Project Runway” judge Michael Kors is definitely all three. He throws out biting, witty remarks while also critiquing fashion in an understandable way. You don’t have to know a thing about high fashion to understand and appreciate what Michael Kors doesn’t like about a designer’s outfit. And if he’s offering criticism, he’s probably going to make you laugh — like when he said one model looked like “a French maid at a funeral.”
Tyra Banks
You have to love a judge who makes every single part of judging about herself. “America’s Next Top Model” has never really been about producing a top model; it’s more about letting Tyra be a mother figure to girls in her model boot camp. From her position at the center of the judge’s table, Tyra evaluates the models’ work — and transitions effortlessly from judgment of them to her own experiences. It’s certainly valuable to learn from those more experienced than you, but after nine seasons, Tyra’s self-centeredness has become almost comical. Often she’ll seem to forget that she’s even judging, and will just start performing, showing off poses or demonstrating techniques she’s used. Still, she remains one of the more entertaining parts of the now-routine series.