"Edward Scissorhands" hit theaters 25 years ago today. And while plenty of people remember the movie's titular character for his pale, scarred skin or that face he makes when he tries a lemon, for me, he was a swoon-inducing dreamboat.
OK, stay with me. Yes, at the time, I was a strange teen who was averse to talking, reveled in the strange and disliked conformity. But now, 25 years later, I can see why Edward Scissorhands is actually the perfect teen crush.
1. He’s manufactured better than One Direction.
The hallmark of any celebrity heartthrob is how he or she is completely manufactured by Hollywood, from the hair to the clothes to their dating life and public statements about their religion. Edward, meanwhile, was literally a manufactured human. And aside from the regrettable "dying before the real hands could get finished" thing, Edward's inventor gets an A.
2. He has practical skills.
A boyfriend who could also be a trusted hairstylist, pet groomer and a landscaper? Sign me up.
3. He's also creative.
With a love of poetry instilled in him from his inventor, Edward's sensitive, creative side shined once he put his practical skills to use.
4. But he has a bad boy side.
Related to those slicing skills, Edward does have appendages that could kill you at any moment. And what good is a crush if there isn't a little danger involved?
5. He doesn't understand life in the suburbs, either.
From eating peas to negotiating the cliques of neighborhood housewives, Edward never understood how to navigate the unwritten rules of suburbia. Is there anything that a teenager beginning to understand the scope of the world could relate to more?
6. Make it rain? He’ll make it snow.
Edward is basically the king of grand romantic gestures, carving an ice sculpture as a sign of his love. Not to be a sap, but watching Edward make it snow for the town at the end of that movie is just the sweetest thing.