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‘Desperate’ behavior abounds on Wisteria Lane

Susan fumes when Katherine warms up to MJ, Gaby's latest pleasure comes with a lot of guilt, Bree tells Orson like it is and the Scavos face another financial crisis.
/ Source: contributor

Mother of the Year: Susan gets all in a huff when Mike leaves MJ with Katherine while he works. Even though she has made it clear how many extra shifts Mike should take to put MJ in private school, she also wants him to take the whole day off to babysit, apparently. Matters are made even worse when MJ loves the time he spends with Katherine — so much that he doesn’t want to leave, and even sneaks out and runs across the street to get a panini. When Susan finds him gone, she runs through the street screaming until she spies him through Katherine’s window. She’s clearly not the brightest bulb, or she would have thought to go there in the first place. She calls Katherine “devious” for being nice to MJ (what mother wouldn’t?), and then says he’s no longer allowed there. Katherine points out how tricky that will be, seeing as Mike’s moving in with her. Ooh, snap!

Don’t pack just yet: Dave has other plans for Katherine and Mike, though. He’s invited them on a camping trip with him and Edie, knowing full well Edie won’t go. He asks her not to tell, since Katherine won’t go if she isn’t going, and Edie agrees in exchange for a weekend at a five-star hotel the following week. As the episode ends, Dave puts a gun in his camping bag. Could this non-mystery be coming to an end, finally? Or is he just prepared in case they see a bear?

You get what you pay for: After learning Andrew got a big raise, Orson’s obsessed with learning just how much. He eventually finds out Andrew makes twice what he does. Bree says Orson makes what’s fair based on his experience in catering, and he tells her it’s about his value, and that this is like saying he’s worthless. Her response: “No. I’m just saying you’re worth less.” Ouch! He seems to come around, though, even paying Andrew a compliment. But then he pockets Andrew’s fancy, expensive pen. Let’s hope that’s the end of that.

Who said anything about a bonus? Carlos’s boss, Brad, tells him the company’s foregoing bonuses this year because of the economy. Gaby’s response: “For God’s sake, don’t do this to my jeweler.” Soon enough, she spots Brad kissing a woman who is decidedly not his wife — and he sees her spotting him. By the time she arrives home to tell Carlos, Brad’s there, telling Carlos he’s getting a bonus after all — and it’s a big one: $30,000. Gaby later tells Carlos what she saw, and he realizes his bonus is blackmail. Gaby: “You’re welcome!” Carlos has mixed feelings, but they decide not to tell Brad’s wife, Maria. Next thing we know, Maria and Brad show up to announce they’re pregnant and want Gaby and Carlos as godparents. Maria notices Gaby’s bracelet, and Gaby says, “Yeah, but I’m not enjoying it as much as I thought I would.” Guilt will have that effect.

The family that makes pizza together: With Scavo’s hurting financially, Tom decides to fire his staff, and put the kids to work. It’s all fun and wacky hijinks, since none of them know how to do anything right, until the twins try to take off and Tom totally loses it. Porter and Preston try to leave when some kids from school show up, because they don’t want to be humiliated. (Since when is waiting tables an embarrassing job for a high school kid? Only in Fairview.) Tom tries to get them to stay, but they’re not listening, so he rages at Porter, shaking him and pushing him up against the wall. Soon enough, Tom’s ready to close the restaurant, like Lynette wanted him to do. Just how many do-overs will this make for the Scavos, career-wise?

DeAnn Welker lives in Portland, Ore., and is a regular contributor to