Dax Shepard's new show, "Bless This Mess," premieres Tuesday night, but when the actor visited "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on the eve of that big event, he decided to showcase a different "mess" — the one he's been hiding in his shoes.
During a previous visit to the late-night talk show, Shepard had boasted about his flawless feet. Or what should now be referred to as his formerly flawless feet, as Kimmel learned when he asked the 44-year-old if they've stood the test of time.
"They have not," Shepard said. "In fact, there was a scene on the show this season where I had to have my feet exposed, and I had to call everyone together and go, 'Look, we've got an issue here. You guys need to see this before we just unveil it.' And what's ironic is, if you recall, on this show, I showed off how beautiful my foot had been."
But those days are over.
"I was arrogant; I was proud. It was my favorite feature," Shepard said, adding a sad update. "They've both since gone to hell in a hand-basket. Both are shot."
His left foot now features a "big gross dead toenail." And his right foot? Well, when a surgeon attempted to correct his hammertoe, the doc got a little carried away.
"He said, 'I can straighten that out,' and I said, 'Let's do that,'" the star recalled. "While he was X-raying, he goes, 'Huh. This is too long. I think I can shorten that.' I said, 'You're the doctor. Go crazy.' I wake up from surgery ..."
As he trailed off, he unveiled the offending foot — now with significantly less toe in the center.
"Can I just point out the weirdest part of it?" he asked as he hoisted his foot up on Kimmel's desk. "If it's like this, it's the same length (as the others)."
Then he put his foot back on the floor and pointed out that the wee middle-toe once again appeared dwarfed by its fellow toes.
"It's a full inch shorter!" he shouted while pointing at the problematic piggy. "What the hell is going on?!"
And in case anyone missed that strange bit of toe-based physics, he demonstrated it again, with even louder commentary, as the audience erupted in laughter.
As for Kimmel, he sarcastically suggested a Shepard take legal action against the surgeon: "I hope you are suing this man to the ends of the earth!"