David Beckham has an answer for everything.
As part of a defamation lawsuit against the magazine, the soccer stud's attorney has filed paperwork accounting for every move Beckham made on the nights when, according to In Touch Weekly, he supposedly was having a fling with a high-priced prostitute.
And, what do you know, none of the moves accounted for involved a call girl.
On the first night in question, Aug. 17, 2007, Beckham's declaration states that he was in Manhattan with his L.A. Galaxy teammates to play the New York Red Bulls and that he spent the entire trip, until game time the following day, at the Waldorf Astoria with the team. His security detail was with him until 1:30 a.m., when he went to bed, he added.
"He did not have a hotel room or spend any time in a room at a different hotel," the statement reads in response to the story that he met up at Le Parker Meridien hotel with two call girls, including Irma Nici, whom he sued along with In Touch.
Then Beckham tackled night of alleged infidelity No. 2.
He says did not see Nici at Claridge's in London the following month, when he was in town to visit his father who'd just had a heart attack, either.
The declaration states that Beckham touched down at Heathrow at 6:30 p.m. on Sept. 26, 2007, and immediately met up with a U.K. security guard and a friend, with whom he went to see his father. He went right home after the hospital, he says.
Victoria Beckham flew in from L.A. the following day, after which they were either at home, or visiting his father and her parents before they both returned to L.A. on Sept. 30.
"Beckham was either with his security team, his father, or with Mrs. Beckham and her family during all three evenings and nights he was in London, and he never set foot inside Claridge's during this trip," says the declaration.
The same story goes for Nici's claim that he called her from New York that October. He says he was never in New York that month and certainly never called her "to engage in prostitution with her."
Beckham has called In Touch's story a complete fabrication. Editor-in-Chief Michelle Lee has stood by the magazine's reporting.
Nici countersued Beckham in October, claiming she's suffered emotionally and physically since he and his lawyers started trashing her in the press.
A hearing on the matter is scheduled for Feb. 7 in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles.
--Additional reporting by Claudia Rosenbaum