If you ever wonder why it is that people like “Dancing With The Stars” (ABC, Tuesdays/Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET), Tuesday night would have been a good night to watch. Very little drama, no scandal, less filler than usual as a result of each celebrity learning two dances instead of one, and — not to put too fine a point on it — a decent amount of good dancing.
The first set of dances for all five performers were the ballroom round. In a pleasant surprise, Jerry Springer rallied from last week’s slapsticky paso doble with a serious and respectful foxtrot. Looking genuinely regretful that he went for buffoon giggles last time, Jerry pulled off the foxtrot with considerable charm. If he goes home this week, he will not regret embracing the schmaltz of a “My Way” twirl rather than a cartoonish, prop-wrangling bullfight.
Monique Coleman survived her second wardrobe issue in the quickstep. After an uncomfortable experience a couple of weeks ago in which she showed more of her behind than she intended, she got her foot stuck in the hem of her dress, where it stayed for a significant chunk of the performance. For a woman so indisposed, Monique did a remarkable job, remaining composed the entire time, never losing her impenetrable ballroom smile. Her perseverance impressed the judges, who rewarded her with good scores and, in Carrie-Ann’s case, congratulations on her sure-footed, one-footed dancing.
Elegant Emmitt SmithEmmitt Smith complained in the rehearsal footage that he found the waltz a little “boring.” But in spite of his protests, he was very successful. While the arrangement of “Hushabye Mountain” was a little corny, Emmitt looked superb in his tails. He’s often shown that he’s quick-footed and smooth, but this was his first really elegant showing, far better than his subpar early tango, one of the few poor performances he’s given.
Dueling studs Mario Lopez and Joey Lawrence both performed the foxtrot, both performed very well, and they received identical scores. Mario’s cheeky routine, unexpectedly featuring partner Karina as a sudden blonde, nicely displayed an intentionally corny sense of humor, complete with winks and blown kisses. It could have come off as hopelessly dated, but because Mario can back up the clowning with good dancing and a slightly untrustworthy and perfectly suited brand of suave, they got away with it. Carrie-Ann and Bruno both gave the dance 10s, but Len, unhappy about a failing in Mario’s foot positioning, gave them a 9.
Joey’s dance suited him just as well. A dancer since toddlerhood, Joey has always had a taste of the hoofer born after his time, and Gene Kelly’s “Singin’ In The Rain” was just right. He and Edyta incorporated the famous umbrella without being distracted by it, and the choreography had some lovely callbacks to Kelly’s routine. Joey seemed utterly at home in this setting, and he, too, received 10s from Carrie-Ann and Bruno, as well as the same 9 from Len.
Latin rhythms, terrible musicThe Latin round, while less skilled than the ballroom, was also strong. Jerry was stuck with the mambo, which is not as easy to bluff as the foxtrot. To his credit, he again stayed away from pure farce, but his partner Kym still found a way to work within his limitations, apparently casting him as an uncoordinated tourist cutting loose with a real dancer.
To her credit, Kym reliably — well, other than the misstep last week — finds ways to teach Jerry real dances without going wildly outside the bounds of what he can do. This, for Jerry, is what it means to learn to dance, and people learning to dance is what makes the show fun when it’s fun. Jerry’s good humor continued in the post-routine interview, when he told host Samantha Harris how professional the judges are: “They say wonderful things. Then they give me the lowest scores, which shows they have integrity.”
The blemish on the Latin round was another example of the show saddling performers with terrible music. Having set past paso dobles to music like (most famously) “The Final Countdown,” it sent Monique out to perform a bullfight to Duran Duran’s “The Reflex.” There is good and bad music, but this choice so crippled the dance that it was almost impossible to tell whether it was any good or not. Monique certainly seemed to perform the routine without any mistakes — and without getting her foot caught in her dress — and the judges gave the dance straight 9s, so apparently, it went all right.
Emmitt has proved in the past that he can do Latin dancing all day, as it plays directly to his speed, physical power and keen musicality. This week’s mambo was no different, and as soon as Emmitt and his bright red shoes got moving, he was in his element as far as dancing. There seemed to be moments when he lost his place, but the judges didn’t worry, praising the performance highly and hitting it with two 10s before Bruno spoiled the party with a 9. The audience booed Bruno, but Emmitt and Cheryl seemed perfectly pleased to take home a nearly perfect score.
Mario, you look marvelous!
Mario Lopez didn’t get the night’s highest scores. But it’s time to admit that he’s just gotten to be an awful lot of fun to watch, and his jive continued to prove it. While it wasn’t as fast as some, and while Karina seemed to be hinting in her post-dance comments that the band didn’t keep the tempo she wanted, it looked marvelous.
Mario’s snappy footwork was actually more satisfying than some of the pure “American Bandstand”-style jives we’ve seen in the past. The straight 9s they received — they were allegedly docked for the poor positioning of one of Mario’s hands — seemed a little bit cooked up, as if the judges were hesitant to announce too quickly that the guy is fairly obviously the best dancer in the competition, and almost surely deserves the win if we’re actually going by ability.
The final dance came from Joey, who was stuck doing the mambo to, well, “Mambo No. 5.” Once a song has been Steve Carell’s ringtone on “The Office,” it’s hard to expect anyone to dance to it with a straight face, but Joey and Edyta did their best. As the judges pointed out, Joey really lightened up, particularly compared to his last couple of dances, and he was much more charming as a result. He took home one point more than Mario for the evening, snagging a 10 from Bruno for his mambo.
Because of Sara Evans’s voluntary departure, no one was eliminated last week, so last week’s scores will be combined with this week’s to come up with the elimination. Joey and Jerry were the bottom two last week, but Joey probably helped himself considerably with his strong performances Tuesday night.
In the end, it remains true that Jerry’s fate has little to do with the quality of his dancing. He will stay as long as those who adore him decide he should stay. He’s the obvious choice to go home — he’s not really “dancing” in the same way the others are — but depending on how much affection Jerry earned himself with his return to real dancing, it’s entirely possible that someone else, probably either Monique or Joey, could take the fall.
Linda Holmes is a writer in Bloomington, Minn.