Batten down the hatches, Chicago and Detroit. Charlie Sheen is coming to town.
At least one of the actor's fantasies has become a reality, with Sheen announcing tonight that tickets for his live "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show" are going on sale Saturday.
And if you think the actor has already given away too much with his personal livestreams and interviews, you've got another thing coming...
MORE: Get your winning Charlie Sheen souvenirs!
"I'm going on the road. LIVE," Sheen writes. "Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth? WILL THERE BE MORE?!?!
"This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock. Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me."
More like, bring cash. May as well pick up an "Unemployed Winner" T-shirt and mug straight from the source.
Alas, Hurricane Sheen will only be touching down in the aforementioned Midwestern cities at this time, so the Angelenos, New Yorkers, Alabamans, Floridians, etc. will have to wait. Tickets to this very hard-core-sounding event will be available via Ticketmaster.
And despite the fact that he's promising violent truth-telling, E! News has been assured that the lady-loving Sheen is planning on a very "pro-woman" production.
(Originally published March 10, 2011, at 6:50 p.m. PT)