When Caitlyn Jenner decided to undergo surgery as part of her transition to a woman, she admits the anxiety nearly overwhelmed her at first.
"I had a massive panic attack," she told TODAY's Matt Lauer on Thursday in the second part of an exclusive morning program interview. "I'd never had anything like that in my life. It was, like, so scary. My heart was just pounding and this and that. In my head when I shut my eyes, it was just, like, 'My God, what did you just do?' Because that surgery kind of passed the point of no return."
Jenner spoke to Lauer over a round of golf at Woodland Hills Country Club outside Los Angeles about her new life as a transgender woman since revealing her new identity on the cover of Vanity Fair in June. While Jenner spoke about the initial anxiety over her transition, she has not looked back since the change.
"No regrets whatsoever,'' she said. "I just want my family to be okay. All of that stuff takes time. You transition, your whole family goes through this. They've been a blessing in my life, and you don't want anything to hurt them, and you wonder, are you doing the right thing? You know, living your true self. And everybody handles it differently."
There also admittedly has been some awkwardness in people approaching her since her transition.
"Until they get to know me,'' Jenner said. "Then they go, 'Oh, it's still kind of the same person.' Your identity may be different but I'm still the same person, same sick sense of humor."
Jenner also talked about reconnecting with friends since the transition.
"I think women are more tolerant,'' she said. "They just kind of get it. Male friends, I didn't have a lot of 'em. I mostly hung out with women, but I think it's just more complicated for guys to deal with this subject."
She now has regular girls' nights with friends, which led Lauer to wonder about her dating life.
"Oh God, dating,'' she said. "I want a lot of great friends that I can share my life with, okay? And that's important to me. Certainly that love and compassion. I have no idea what that would be in the future. But I'm kind of open to anything.''
"Right now, I'm just happy living myself. I have no idea what the future holds. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I just want to enjoy myself right now."
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