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Brrrr ...  a thousand years of Paris Hilton?

Paris Hilton reportedly is looking forward to an afterlife of suspended animation at the Cryonics Institute, accompanied Egyptian-style with her darling doggies, including Chihuahua Tinkerbell and Yorkie Cinderella.
/ Source: msnbc.com news services

Good news for your great-grandchildren! While they’re schvitzing up a storm thanks to the unstoppable effects of global warming, they can still take comfort in an ice cold Paris Hilton and her multitude of frozen pupsicles.

Phoenix news site azcentral.com reveals that the hotel heiress is looking forward to an afterlife of suspended animation at the Cryonics Institute, accompanied Egyptian-style with her darling doggies, including Chihuahua Tinkerbell and Yorkie Cinderella.

"It's so cool,” Paris enthused. According to azcentral.com, the blonde celebutante invested thousands in her frigid future. “Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you're immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved.” Just think of it, kids! "My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years."

David Copperfield profiles women
Leave it to master of illusion David Copperfield to take an ’80s hair band pick-up gimmick and turn it high tech. TMZ reports that the digital camera equipment and computer hard drive the FBI seized last week from Copperfield’s Las Vegas warehouse in connection to were possible props used to catalog women.

David Lee Roth and Mötley Crüe required roadies to deliver hot audience members the rockers selected from the stage. But TMZ sources said Copperfield planned at least part of his magic show around “a system for picking up women.” The illusionist allegedly got up close and personal with his audience, cueing crewmembers to the women he wanted by adding “mama” or “secrecy” in his one-on-one interactions.

Rather than relying on instant-groupie gratification, the magician purportedly instituted a tag-and-release program. His crew collected info on the favorite females invited backstage, taking digital photos and asking questions such as favorite men’s cologne and if they’d enjoy the Bahamas — where Copperfield just happens to own an island cluster.  (The Bahamas is also the location where his accuser said she was sexually assaulted.) All of this information was recorded on a computer hard drive.

VMA disaster dancers still waiting for dollars
As if taking part in the spectacle of Britney Spears’ MTV Video Music Awards performance wasn’t bad enough, the dancers who writhed around the troubled pop star are still waiting for her to give ‘em more. Cash, that is.

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“The dancers were paid for the actual show and some of the rehearsals, but not all of them,” a source told Us Weekly.

Maybe Brit’s already put the unfortunate “Gimme More” routine behind her and hopes everyone else does the same. Or maybe this is just her way of showing move-makers what she really thinks of them. After all, she skipped out on hoofer auditions twice this month, too.

Alas, according Us Weekly’s insider, the problem is most likely related to Britney getting the heave-ho from her management agency, The Firm, just a week after the VMA nightmare.

“Her management usually pays the dancers,” the source said.

Dish on the fly
Ryan Seacrest’s
private life doesn’t hit the headlines often, at least not since that whole almost-relationship he had with Teri Hatcher, but that doesn’t mean he’s not seeing some action. Unfortunately, ContactMusic reports he’s only seeing it through the TV screen. “I flick through the channels and go: ‘I love her, I love her.’ That's my dating. Most of them don't know we're dating but that's how I date at the moment — with a remote control!” …  Poor Katie Holmes. Her career just hasn’t been the same since she married Tom Cruise, gave birth to little Suri and underwent her bizarre fashion makeunder. Now, according to OK! magazine, director Rob Marshall’s given her a big “no” on the role of a lifetime. “Katie desperately wanted to be in (“Nine”),” her pal told OK! “It would have taken her back to the singing and dancing she did when she was growing up. She thought working with Rob, who directed ‘Chicago,’ would be a career breakthrough … She was heartbroken when she didn’t get the part.”

Tabloid Tidbits is compiled by Ree Hines and Helen A.S. Popkin.