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WWE star Becky Lynch gets ‘open and honest’ about her self-doubt in new memoir

She's known worldwide as "The Man," but Lynch says she's "constantly battling between unshakable self-belief and crippling self-doubt."
/ Source: TODAY

In the past month, WWE superstar Becky Lynch has, in no particular order, released a memoir; prepared for a championship match at WrestleMania; met with President Joe Biden; and announced she’s become an American citizen.

Is it any wonder she’s known as “The Man”?

Her journey to becoming “The Man,” however, did not come easy to her, as she discussed during a recent conversation with TODAY.com. While the Becky Lynch whom fans see on TV is supremely confident and determined, with enough championship victories and historic achievements to make her a WWE Hall of Fame shoo-in someday, the person behind the character — real name Rebecca Quin — has struggled with self-doubt.

It’s one of the central themes of her book, “Becky Lynch: The Man: Not Your Average Average Girl,” released March 26.

“It’s kind of a human experience, isn’t it, right? Like, we’re always battling with those voices in our heads that either tell us that we’re not good enough, or this person’s better than us, or reason X, Y or Z that we can’t succeed,” she says. “And so I wanted to be very open and honest about that, because I hadn’t read too many books about people in similar situations, where they were open about that part. And I think it’s very human. I think we all go through it. And so I wanted to share that in case there is anybody out there that feels like that.

“And also, I think it makes those moments when you overcome it just that much greater.”

Managing ‘unshakable self-belief and crippling self-doubt’

Lynch, 37, pursued wrestling as a teenager in her native Ireland, receiving training and guidance in part from her now-fellow WWE superstar (and former boyfriend) Finn Bálor. She wrestled in countries like Canada and Japan, but she would face mental and physical struggles, including an eating disorder.

Lynch left the wrestling world for six years, becoming a flight attendant like her mother, and later studying acting. She was offered a job as a stunt person, and while brushing up on her wrestling skills for the role, she was connected with WWE for a tryout that changed her life.

Becky Lynch and her mother as flight attendants.
Lynch and her mother as flight attendants for Aer Lingus during Lynch's hiatus from wrestling.Gallery Books

Lynch made her debut on WWE’s main roster in 2015 and became a fan favorite. However, her career was propelled to new heights in August 2018 when she attacked her friend Charlotte Flair after losing to her in a SummerSlam match for the “Smackdown” Women’s Championship. It was intended to be a villainous act, but the crowd erupted in cheers.

It was one of the pivotal moments that would help Lynch evolve from an occasionally overlooked character to “The Man,” who, less than eight months later, would defeat Flair and Ronda Rousey for the “Raw” and “Smackdown” Women’s Championships in what was the first main event in WrestleMania history to feature a women’s match. It marked the culmination of what had been for Lynch a longtime dream: to compete in the top match at WWE’s signature event.

But despite her popularity and her title reigns, the feelings of self-doubt haven’t completely gone away for Lynch.

“I’m constantly battling between unshakable self-belief and crippling self-doubt, you know? And it’s like the war of two worlds in my head. But ultimately the self-belief has to overcome, you know? Always,” she says. “Because there’s always going to be a reason to not believe in yourself, or you hear external voices that say one thing, and they’re the things that stick with you really, aren’t they? It’s never the good stuff that sticks with you. It’s usually the bad.

I’m constantly battling between unshakable self-belief and crippling self-doubt, you know? And it’s like the war of two worlds in my head. But ultimately the self-belief has to overcome, you know? Always.

Becky lynch

“But I think that’s the skill in learning how to live with these two things simultaneously, and not let one get too great. Because I think we need the self-doubt, because it drives us and keeps us aware.”

Lynch shares several stories in “Not Your Average Average Girl” of times when she leaned on her WWE colleagues, including her now-husband, current World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins, when she experienced those moments of self-doubt, or when she was frustrated with the creative direction of her character. (If you’re interested in Lynch peeling back the curtain for her honest takes on some of her storylines over the years, you won’t be disappointed in her book.)

She says she and Rollins, real name Colby Lopez, don’t shy away from having conversations about their work when they’re not on the road.

“I think actually for us it’s really healthy, because it helps us grow. I think the only time that it can become a conflict is, I tend to be more fiery and more emotional in general than Colby because he’s so level. He’s so level. He analyzes everything before he makes up his mind on something, whereas I’ve got my mind made up pretty quick. And then we can debate about it and we can talk about it.

“But it never becomes hostile, which is great,” she continues. “But there’s always debate. And I love that, because it challenges you. And you think that you think one way about something, but then when you talk about it, you’re like, ‘Oh, yeah. I see that.’”

Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch at "Dolittle" premiere in 2020.
Lynch and Rollins have both established themselves as all-time greats in WWE.Tibrina Hobson / FilmMagic

Being ‘realistic’ about her place in the WrestleMania 2024 lineup

At WrestleMania 40, which will be held in Philadelphia on April 6 and 7, Lynch will face Women’s World Champion Rhea Ripley. Their feud was kicked up a notch on the March 25 episode of “Raw” when she punched Ripley’s companion Dominik Mysterio, inciting a brawl between her and Ripley that was broken up by referees.

Their match is worthy of main event consideration, but this year’s WrestleMania is centered around Cody Rhodes’ ongoing quest to take the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship from Roman Reigns, and his related feud with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. A tag-team match is set for the first night of WrestleMania involving all three plus Lynch’s husband, Rollins.

Given the buzz around The Rock’s return to WWE, it seems a given that the tag-team match will headline the first night, with the Rhodes-Reigns championship bout closing out the second night. Lynch understands and accepts that.

“My thing has always been, I don’t want the token gesture. I don’t want, ‘Well, we got to put a women’s match on last.’ I don’t want that. The best story has to win. The story that everybody’s talking about has to win,” she says. “And as much as I would love to say that is me and Rhea, The Rock is back, and everybody’s talking about The Rock and Roman and Cody and Seth and that dynamic altogether. And so you have to be realistic and go, OK, well, look, we’re not going to close the show, but we’re going to steal the show.”

Becky Lynch and Rhea Ripley on "Raw" in March 2024.
Ripley has been champion for nearly a year. Can Lynch dethrone her?Alex Bierens de Haan / Getty Images

Lynch has not returned to the WrestleMania main event since that magical night with Flair and Rousey in 2019. She says she won’t feel disappointment if it doesn’t happen for her again.

“It’s not about that. It’s not about how many main events you have. It’s about the good work that you do,” she explains. “And if you are doing good work and people are enjoying your work or feeling something from your work, and you’re telling great stories and you are doing great in-ring work and you are making the place better than you found it — and I feel like I’m doing that.

“And you’ve changed the game. You’ve set the table. You know that women can be the main event of WrestleMania. It’s not that impossibility that it was before.”

'The Man' on being a mom

During an episode of “Raw” in May 2020, in an empty venue due to the coronavirus pandemic, Lynch made an emotional announcement: She was relinquishing the “Raw” Women’s Championship because she was pregnant. By the end of the year, Lynch and Rollins welcomed their first child, daughter Roux. Roux was present when the couple tied the knot in June 2021.

Roux often travels with her parents when they’re working WWE events, unless it’s a brief trip or an overseas commitment (though she has traveled internationally in the past).

Lynch, who’s based in Los Angeles and Rollins’ native Iowa, says her 3-year-old daughter is "confused" by what it is her parents do for a living. 

“So we say we’re going to work when we go to the gym, because that is our work too, being in shape. And so she goes, ‘Are you working at the gym or are you working in the building?’ Because she calls when we’re wrestling ‘in the building,’ because we say, ‘We’re going into the building,’” Lynch says. “And so I don’t know that she’s really able to distinguish between the two. Like, she’s seen us on TV. She knows we get boo-boos. She thinks you get boo-boos from working in general. Like, ‘Does everybody get boo-boos when they work?’”

Lynch adds that Roux isn’t too interested in sitting in the crowd or watching her parents’ matches: “She’ll say something like, ‘Is Dada going to say hi to me? Is Mama going to say hi to me?’ Like, when she sees us on the TV. But other than that, once a match starts, she’s checked out.”

Lynch’s mother disapproved of wrestling when she began her training, at a time when the women in the business were treated like “sex objects,” as Lynch puts it in her book. Roux may not have strong feelings for professional wrestling at the moment, but Lynch will encourage her if she eventually decides she’d like to follow in her parents’ footsteps.

“It’s one of those things where, before, if you had a daughter, I think everybody would be like, ‘I don’t want my daughter to wrestle,’ but now the game has completely changed,” she says. “There’s no reason — other than just, you know, the wear and tear on the body — that I wouldn’t want her to pursue it. Because it’s given me a great life and I love the art of it.”

Meeting President Biden and locking up with him?

It’s been an eventful month for Lynch, beyond the buildup to WrestleMania and the debut of her book. She represented Ireland and WWE at the White House for an event honoring St. Patrick’s Day, posting a photo slideshow that included a pic of herself with Biden.

When asked what they discussed, Lynch quips, “I invited him to a wrestling show, and may have faked a lockup with him. Didn’t get taken down by the Secret Service, so I was already winning.”

Fresh off her appearance at the White House, Lynch informed a WWE crowd on March 18 she’d become an American citizen only hours earlier.

“I’ve always been a proud Irishwoman, but now I’m a proud American,” she said to cheers.

In short, Lynch’s life these days is not average at all.