As The Bachelor progresses, the various actresses--sorry, quality women who sincerely want to devote themselves to Brad Womack for the rest of their lives--are falling into the personality categories familiar from previous seasons. The sad girl, the desperate girl, the kooky girl and the insane, unhinged girl.
Who is played by Michelle, who woke up with a black eye. That she got in her sleep. From herself.
And there's plenty more drama involved, as she'll tell you. Between sniffle jags.
Oh, you're giving it a chance, sweetheart. With an act like that, chances are the producers will happily keep you around as you reveal a new self-mutilation each week. Think of the ratings!
MORE: Michelle, maybe you should cut your losses and hook up with Mel, instead. He's more your type.