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Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis tackle tabloid rumors with hilarious 'breakup' video

After seeing a recent magazine cover, the "Bad Moms" star turned to her husband and broke the big news.
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher@aplusk/Instagram
/ Source: TODAY

They've been friends for decades, partners for seven years and parents for five, but despite that seemingly enduring relationship, Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have called it quits — according to one less-than-reliable source.

A recent tabloid cover alleged that "It's Over!" for the duo, and the talented pair wasted no time responding to that on social media with a must-see (and must-laugh) video.

"Babe, what's happening? What's going on?" a concerned-looking Kutcher asks in the clip.

That's when Kunis turns her phone to him to reveal a magazine with the breakup news splashed across the cover. She informs him, "It's over between us."

He seems incredulous at first, but before long, Kutcher accepts their fate.

"Oh, my God," the actor deadpans. "What are we going to do?"

But it's too late for that kind of thinking. Kunis continues to consult the cover for more details and tells him, "I felt suffocated."

"You felt suffocated by me?! Oh. I was just so overbearing, wasn't I?" Kutcher, who's sporting a mustache in the clip, shoots back.

Then comes another blow that shocks them both: "I took the kids," Kunis says after giving the cover another glance.

Kutcher would have been brokenhearted to hear that — had any of it been true. Still, the 41-year-old couldn't help but wonder why it all came down to this.

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis
Actors Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis attend the 2018 Breakthrough Prize at NASA Ames Research Center in Mountain View, California.Jesse Grant / Getty Images

Good thing his wife had the answer right there on her screen.

"You had a very dark secret exposed," she says.

Of course, the 35-year-old actress couldn't give him any more details about that, since, again, none of it was true. But one of their pals had a theory.

Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt offered his take in the comments. "It was the mustache for sure," he said.

But Kutcher's caption firmly put the kibosh on the story.

After telling the publication to "have fun selling magazines this week," he wrote, "Maybe next week my wife will be having twins. For the third time. But who's counting."

Alas, there was one reader disappointed to see the rumors put to rest — Kutcher's friend and co-star on "The Ranch," Dax Shepard.

"I was gonna take a run at MK!!!" Kristen Bell's always-hilarious husband wrote, adding. "I want a refund!"