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Ashton Kutcher fails to punk tabloids

If Ashton Kutcher’s new show, “Pop Fiction,” was meant to take a jab at the tabloids, the celebrity rags aren’t feeling it.
/ Source: contributor

If Ashton Kutcher’s new show, “Pop Fiction,” was meant to take a jab at the tabloids, the celebrity rags aren’t feeling it. According to New York Daily News’ Rush & Molloy, the show’s faux gossip fodder just doesn’t compare with the real thing.

“Ashton's not a journalist,” a magazine editor told the Daily News. “One of the stories was about Avril Lavigne being pregnant. But everyone watched her in Miami, and reporters caught her drinking. A fake belly doesn't get by us.”

Besides, the magazines get the tip-off before Ashton’s crew has a chance to pull a “punk,” according to the source. “There's nothing these people do that we don't know about before they get there. We know everything. Ninety percent of their lives are put together by other people. It's almost like these celebs have LoJack. It's easy to track them.”

Yet another insider took a swipe at the caliber of celebrities Ashton wrangles in to the E! show. “(‘Pop Fiction’) is awful. It's a mostly a lot of D-listers we don't care about. (We) wouldn't cover anyone on that show — with the exception of Avril. This show won't go anywhere. No one is watching it.”

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Still, at least one industry insider found something positive to say about the prank project. “If he's just doing this to have fun, that's good.” The source added, “If Britney turned out to be sane and it was all a Kutcher hoax, that would be a story! Or if the Olsen twins were normal!”

Glenn Close wants her kid in the biz Many stars claim they wouldn’t want their children to join the cutthroat world of showbiz, but not Glenn Close. The “Damages” actress told OK! magazine she’d love for her 19-year-old daughter, Annie, to follow her footsteps.

“I've never been able to understand why some people do something for their whole life and then decide that they don't want their kids to do it,” Glenn said. “I've had a fantastic life in this industry. I can't think of a more exciting thing for my daughter to do.”

Dish on the fly Remember that big ol’ heap of bad press Dr. Phil McGraw found himself in after he met Britney Spears in her hospital room and blabbed to the media about it? Well, Brit’s mom, Lynne, still remembers it, too. The National Enquirer reports Dr. P recently tried to smooth things over with Lynne via his wife, Robin. “Phil says his motivations were misunderstood, and he wanted the family to know he wasn’t trying to use them for ratings,” a source told the Enquirer’s Mike Walker. “He says he still wants to help Britney — and he is more than willing to do it on the QT.” But when Robin approached Mama Spears with Phil’s idea, Lynne simply said, “Thanks … but no, thanks!” … Looks like Keanu Reeves has a bit of paternal ambition. When “Entertainment Tonight” asked “The Matrix” man if he would consider trading in his acting roles for the family life, Keanu responded, “I wouldn’t mind some of that. I would mind some getting up at in two in the morning. That doesn't sound so bad; pick up a little one: ‘How's it goin' man? Good luck! I'll help you as much as I can.’”

Tabloid Tidbits is compiled by Ree Hines.