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Ariana Grande on her anxiety after Manchester attack: 'I felt so upside down'

The singer said she experienced dizzy spells and intense anxiety after the attack at her U.K. concert.
by Eun Kyung Kim / / Source: TODAY

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Ariana Grande reveals she experienced severe anxiety and physical symptoms after a suicide bomber targeted her concert last year at Britain’s Manchester Arena.

In an upcoming cover story for Elle magazine, Grande reluctantly opens up about the May 22, 2017, tragedy. Just the mention of “Manchester” prompted the singer to well up with tears, the article noted.

“When I got home from tour, I had really wild dizzy spells, this feeling like I couldn’t breathe,” she told the magazine. “I would be in a good mood, fine and happy, and they would hit me out of nowhere. I’ve always had anxiety, but it had never been physical before. There were a couple of months straight where I felt so upside down.”

The terrorist attack killed 22 people and injured 500 others at a sold-out show of her “Dangerous Woman” tour. Last month, Grande revealed that she experiences PTSD symptoms from the bombing but that she is reluctant to discuss the event because she doesn’t want her story to overshadow those of the victims.

“It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe, tremendous loss,” she told British Vogue. “But, yeah, it’s a real thing. I know those families and my fans, and everyone there experienced a tremendous amount of it as well. Time is the biggest thing."

In Elle, Grande describes how she poured her reaction to the experience in the song, "Get Well Soon," which she created with Pharrell Williams.

“It’s all the voices in my head talking to one another,” she said about the tune, which is the final song in her upcoming album, "Sweetener."

Grande’s mother, Joan, who was in the audience on the night of the attack, told Elle that her daughter cried endlessly and barely spoke for two days after the tragedy. Then late one night she got a knock on her door.

“It was two or three in the morning. She crawled into bed and said, ‘Mom, let’s be honest, I’m never not going to sing again. But I’m not going to sing again until I sing in Manchester first,’” Joan Grande recalled.

The two then called the singer's manager and organized the "One Love Manchester" concert that included Miley Cyrus, Coldplay and other stars who helped raise $23 million for the We Love Manchester Emergency Fund.

Grande said returning to the stage for the first time since the attack was "terrifying" but credited her fans for giving her courage.

“Why would I second-guess getting on a f--ing stage and being there for them?” she said. "That city, and their response? That changed my life.”

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