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Life is tough when you're a bottom-dwelling squid. Or when you're bright purple like Barney the Dinosaur. Or when your eyes are enormous and cartoon-like.
But life is especially, particularly tough when you're a combination of all three of these things.
So, after we marvel at the paradoxical charm of a sea creature found 900 meters below sea level recently, and after we coo at his googly, bulging eyes and iridescent skin ... can we just take a moment to think about how sad and sorry his existence likely is?
Exhibit A: The way even the scientists who found him speak about him.
"He has weird eyes!" remarks one, while the others laugh.
"Like Davy Jones," adds another, referring to the little guy's resemblance to the tentacle-y beard of the villain from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
"It looks like [his eyes] are painted on!" says another as the raucous laughter continues.
"It's like some little kid dropped their toy!" adds the last prominent and highly-educated scientist as the group erupts with mirth.
The real name of this purple creature found on Trask Knoll, west of Los Angeles, is not, in fact, "toy-like Davy Jones thing with bulge-y eyes." It's the "stubby squid" (is that really any better?) or the "North Pacific bobtail squid" (OK, slightly better).
Though it looks like a cross between an octopus and squid, it's actually more closely related to a cuttlefish. And this isn't the first time it's been sighted, no.
As for the purpose of those big eyes? All the better to spot prey with, the researchers that spotted the creature told TODAY.