Zawn Villines wants moms to stop making excuses for their lazy husbands.
“On every page I follow, in every parent group I am in, I see the same thing: mothers talking about how exhausted they are, how hurt they are by the imbalance of work in their heterosexual relationships,” Villines began in a now viral Facebook post. “The problems are all some variation of, ‘I just gave birth/am up half the night breastfeeding. Why do I have to also make dinner and clean while my spouse watches TV?”
The 35-year-old writer from Atlanta finds the responses cringeworthy.
“The advice is always the same: 'Be gentle with yourself. You can’t do it all. Parenthood is hard. Blah blah blah,'” Villines wrote. “I don’t know which of you needs to hear this, but I’ll give you some better advice: Divorce his ass.”
That's right. Villines believes that men who don't pull their weight, don't deserve to have a wife
“Men are not innately incompetent or lazy or incapable of doing their fair share,” she explained. “Tell that jackass to get off the golf course, get his ass home, get up in the middle of the night with the baby, and start earning the right to stay married.”
Her message as been shared more than 20,000 times.
“I see women upholding this social norm and almost treating it like it’s funny,” Villines TODAY Parents. “But knowingly harming another person and causing them to suffer so that you can get more sleep or free time is pretty much the dictionary definition of abuse.”
She noted that in today's society, a dad will work 50 hours a week, while the mother is always on call and working 168 hours a week. It doesn't matter if she's a stay-at-home or a brain surgeon, she's expected to write the thank you cards, remember important dates and schedule appointments.
But that is not the case with Villines and her civil rights attorney husband Jeff Filipovits. The couple split all duties related to their 3-year-old daughter. Filipovits will come home after a long day litigating police shootings and make dinner.
Villines appreciates Filipovits and is glad he pushes back against social norms, but she doesn’t celebrate him like he’s some sort of hero.
As Villines wrote on Facebook, “Friends, you do not have to be grateful for a husband who does an equitable share any more than you have to be grateful for a husband who does not beat you. This should be the bare minimum in a society where women are viewed as full human beings.”