Laugh along with the 28 funniest parents on social media this week

We’ve been in quarantine for 18 days and my 9yo has been talking nonstop for 20 of them.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 5, 2020

For the foreseeable future, the 🤰🏻emoji is in reference to my quarantine bod, not pregnancy.

— Tortured by Toddlers (@TorturedByTots) April 6, 2020

I showered today, put some real clothes on and did my hair and makeup. This is now an inspirational account.

— The Vagina Diary (@thevaginadiary) April 3, 2020

My thoughts on Tiger King: I am doing very well in life and should literally never worry about anything ever again

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 5, 2020

I miss going to a restaurant and paying 5.99 for kraft macaroni and cheese for my kid to take two bites of it.

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) April 7, 2020

I’ve reached the point of quarantine where I’ve downloaded Candy Crush

— MomOf1AndDone (@momof1anddone_) April 7, 2020

You ever download the remote app for your TV to your phone so you don’t have to walk across the room to get the actual remote or have I achieved a new level of quarantine lazy?

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 7, 2020

My toddler asked me to give her chicken nuggets a checkup. After giving all the nuggets a medical exam I realized my toddler was asking for ketchup.

— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) April 6, 2020

Today my son got dressed in nice clothes and said it was picture day at his school (His school of course is our kitchen table). It was either a very sweet moment or the first sign that the kid is starting to crack. Either way, I charged him 45 dollars for a 15 picture package.

— david young (@gabutch) March 25, 2020

Me: Want to role play?

Husband: What do you have in mind?

Me: I’ll be a new girlfriend. You’re a single dad with full custody of your kids. It’s too soon to introduce me so I can’t meet them. We get into a fight it’s your fault. We aren’t speaking but you leave food at my door.

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) April 2, 2020

Quarantine update. There’s been a mutiny. The toddler is our leader now.

— Unfiltered PLEASE STAY HOME Mama (@UnfilteredMama) April 5, 2020

My wife just announced she is putting on real pants today.

Is this the part of quarantine where she tells me she is leaving me for a doctor?

— checkyourkidsatthedoor (@checkyourkidsa2) April 3, 2020

Quarantine has made me so moody, I can’t decide if I want to cook an eleven course brunch or stare out the porch window scowling at birds.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 5, 2020

The injustice of being the only one of my sisters who didn't get long eyelashes is made worse by the fact that my 3yo son has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen.

— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) April 5, 2020

Remember in January when we all thought we were fat? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(starts sobbing uncontrollably)

— Not the Nanny (@notthenanny) April 2, 2020

Most grocery stores: A lot of shoppers wearing masks and gloves.

Wal-Mart: 10 shoppers with no pants on.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) April 3, 2020

Shout out to my husband for making dinner while I was sick. The toast was really good.

— Felicia (@LostFelicia) February 4, 2020

Do these birthday parades apply to almost 38 year olds? Asking for me.

— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) April 2, 2020

Make your 3yo participate in a videoconference that she has absolutely no interest participating in and you too can experience the pride that comes from watching your child moon everyone and then rage type so hard she disconnects the call.

— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) April 3, 2020

Homeschooling is just standing behind your kid checking their math on your phone calculator

— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 2, 2020

How is your homeschooling going we are screaming at each other about parallelograms right now

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 2, 2020