The 18 funniest parents on social media this week

2020 is the monster under the bed our parents warned us about.

— Mummy Dear (@ThatMummyLife) June 15, 2020

Why buy tomatoes at the store for $5 when for $20 I can buy a tomato plant and watch it die of neglect on my patio

— Author Abby Jimenez (@AuthorAbbyJim) June 15, 2020

I need a break from my family so I can remember that I love them and do, in fact, want to continue living here.

— Coffee & Crusts (@CoffeeNCrusts) June 13, 2020

[last night, putting my 4 yo to bed]

Her, taking my face in her hands: Nite nite, Mommy. You’re the silliest and funnest in the whole world

Me, heart melting: Aw, baby. Nite nite

H: You’re the best and I hope you don’t die tonight

M: ...

H: ⊂(◉‿◉)つ ᴳᵒᵒᵈⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) June 16, 2020

I just washed the same load of laundry for the third time this week so that should tell you everything you need to know about my current workload.

— Jess Carpenter (@JessCarpWrites) June 18, 2020

Kids and dogs are a great combo if you think scraping dog hair off a two year old's tongue while they gag sounds like a fun Monday night activity

— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) June 16, 2020

3: I’m a war pickle!

Me: A what?

3: A WAR PICKLE!!

Me: A war pickle?

3: (crying) wrrrpckkklllee

Me: (crying) war pickllllllleeee?

6: Ugh, he’s saying woodpecker, momma 🙄

— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 16, 2020

If all else fails in our fight against racism, I have a contingency plan:

1. Find the world's most anti-racist spider.
2. Make it radioactive.
3. Have it bite every racist.

— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊🏾 (@HomeWithPeanut) June 18, 2020

My 4yo’s favorite new word is “boring”

In related news my favorite new phrase is “bring home wine”

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 16, 2020

Sure having kids is hard, but have you ever helped your mom use an iPad?

— Dad and Disorderly (@dadanddisorderl) June 18, 2020

Someone asked what it’s like to have a four year old so I punched them in the face while rage screaming LAUGH WITH ME NOW

— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) June 13, 2020

If your initial reaction upon hearing a celebrity has been hospitalized for exhaustion is, “wow, that sounds so nice,” you’re probably a mom.

— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) June 15, 2020