Sure, dads are great at grilling and pairing tube socks with white sneakers, but what the fatherly figures in our lives really excel at is telling epic dad jokes.
As Father's Day weekend approaches, online greeting card marketplace Thortful is compiling an ultimate list of the best dad jokes, so they're taking online submissions in hopes of building a master list of dad humor in its most cringe-worthy form.
We skimmed Thortful's growing list, which can be added to by completing a form on their site, for the dad jokes that made us groan the loudest. To celebrate dads everywhere, we're sharing 22 of our favorites from the amazing collection.
1. Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.
2. Did you hear about the cheese factory that got blown up? Da brie was everywhere.
3. How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poker face!
4. I just invented a car that runs on herbs… I think I invented thyme travel.
5. I saw a lady at the bank checking her balance so I pushed her over.
6. Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home? His sails went through the roof.
7. What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
8. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle!
9. Swimming with sharks is so expensive. It cost me an arm and a leg!
10. What did the buffalo say to his son as he walked out the door? Bi-son.
11. How much do roofs cost? Nothing. They’re on the house!
12. What do frogs wear on their feet in summer? Open toad sandals!
13. Policeman knocks on the door and says, "Sir, it looks like your wife has been involved in an accident." The man replies, "I know but she has a lovely personality."
14. The only reason I went to Wimbledon was because I heard it was a women’s singles event.
15. My wife laughed at me when I told her I could make a car out of macaroni. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta!
16. Do you want me to tell you the joke about the butter? No, you might spread it!
17. How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
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18. I had a long conversation with a dolphin once. We just seemed to click.
19. It was a lovely wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
20. The police just arrested the world's tongue twister champion. They say he'll be given a tough sentence.
21. Just adopted a dog from the local blacksmith but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
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22. I've got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites.