IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.

'To The Teen Who Planned To Kill My Son': Dad's moving letter expresses empathy

On Monday, when police reported finding "blueprints of explosive" at the home of a teenager who allegedly planned a "mass casualty event" at Edmond North High School in Oklahoma, the father of another student at that school wrote a compassionate open letter "To The Teen Who Planned To Kill My Son."
/ Source: TODAY

On Monday, when police reported finding "blueprints of explosive" at the home of a teenager who allegedly planned a "mass casualty event" at Edmond North High School in Oklahoma, the father of another student at that school wrote a compassionate open letter "To The Teen Who Planned To Kill My Son."

After a teenager was accused of planning to use explosives at an Oklahoma high school, another student's father, Charles Martin, wrote a compassionate open letter to the "Teen Who Planned To Kill My Son."Courtesy of Charles Martin

Charles Martin — whose older son, Michael, is a 15-year-old freshman at Edmond North — told Tuesday that he posted the moving letter online for several reasons: to encourage the accused teenager to stay positive, and to allow himself to process his spectrum of emotions.

"I recently went on a trip to Austin with a friend of mine who works at a rehab center, and in that time we talked a lot about compassion and about dealing with people who have had rough lives," Martin said. "Rather than trying to immediately judge them for their mistakes, try to find the common ground and understand the elements that bring us all to these hard places from time to time."

Charles is a father of two sons, Michael, a high-school student, and Joseph, a middle-school student.Courtesy of Charles Martin

Martin, creative director at Literati Press Comics & Novels, added that it was a lot easier for him to stay positive toward the troubled teen — whose name has not been released — because tragedy was averted, largely thanks to that teen's friends who alerted authorities when they reportedly received alarming texts.

"If you're trying to do something like this, the last thing you're going to do [if you don't want to get caught] is do anything to let your secret be known," he said. "I think he felt like he was out of control, that he wasn't going to be able to stop himself, and he needed somebody to stop him."

Charles Martin's two sons, Joseph and Michael, are referenced in his open letter.Courtesy of Charles Martin

Martin said he's relieved his sons are safe, and is hoping everyone can have a happier life moving forward. "There's enough darkness in this world, but if we can be optimistic about this, it seems like a better way to go than to try to throw more vitriol into an already congestive society," he added.

His entire letter is below:

To The Teen Who Planned To Kill My Son:We found out Friday that you were planning on killing students at Edmond North. The details of your scheme are still not that clear, at least what's been made public, but it seems you were hoping for a high body count. My son is a freshman at Edmond North. He doesn't enjoy school either, but he is a bright young man with a beautiful smile and one of the sharpest comedic instincts I've ever seen. He tends to insulate himself from the world with his headphones and is obsessed with hip hop. I doubt you know each other since you are sixteen, so presumably a sophomore or maybe a junior. Odds are that you've never even crossed paths with my son. Perhaps he would have been safe had you carried out your plan.But perhaps not.It was the winter that made it so hard, wasn't it? That's when you sent the texts to your friends that led them to notify the authorities. It was those damn snow days. The winter always brings me down too, so it's not just you. We all get tremendously sad sometimes.We spent those snow days playing board games and sledding down the hills of our neighborhood. You spent your time researching bombs, even starting to assemble one. I wonder what you used. You might have even been at the same hardware store when we got our sled. I wonder if you went sledding too. Maybe we saw you. Maybe I would know you by sight, but probably not.I have no idea what you are thinking right now. You are being held in a treatment facility, which I think is wise. Charges will be filed, but I am not sure that jail is the right place for you. I want to believe that you texted your friends because you wanted to be caught. You wanted to be stopped. Your friends are heroes. Maybe you felt yourself getting out of control and tipped your hand in hopes someone would stop you, which also makes you a bit of a hero. Maybe. I can't say for sure since we've never spoken nor do I know anything of you aside from what can be found online. Maybe you are a bad person, but it seems you are just angry and desperate. That is understandable. High school is a tough place. It often made me angry and desperate too.But then it ended and I went to college. Life got better in small measures until I finally reached a place in my life where I became happy and fulfilled. As impossible as it may seem now, you have a chance at that too. As does my son and all the other teenagers who are still alive because you were caught.Listen to the therapists at the treatment facility. Whatever comes of this situation, please hold onto the hope that you could one day put the darkness behind you. Perhaps, years into the future, you will reach out to a teenager that feels the way you once did and you can help him avoid making horrible decisions with his life. Nothing is guaranteed to make us feel better, but helping other people comes pretty damn close.Your path forward is going to be complicated and hard, but remember that you are not a killer. You were on a path to become a killer, but your own actions led to my son being alive today. Again, I have no idea if he would have even been in the same part of the building where you executed your plan. Edmond North is a massive complex. But he could have been. The point is irrelevant because you did not have a chance to kill him.Instead of mourning, my son, his brother, and I are going to have a long, happy spring break. We are going to go climbing, play frisbee, go on a road trip, play board games and video games, discuss music production, and laugh about all the stupid things we always say to each other. He is a wonderful kid. I don't know you, but I am certain that there is a part of you that is wonderful too. Not executing your plan allows me the freedom to wish the best for you. Had you killed someone, this letter would be much different. I may never meet you, but if I do, I hope that I am strong enough to thank you.And if I meet your friends, I will be tempted to hug them, but probably won't because that would make them uncomfortable just as hugging made me uncomfortable when I was a teenager.I will spend a lot of time discussing this with my boys just as I am sure their mother has. I need to find Rudderless, a movie made in Oklahoma about a school shooting. It is a powerful film, but my boys haven't seen it yet. We will then discuss the film. Maybe you should watch it too. It will help you imagine what the lives of your family would be like if you had successfully carried out the attack. Maybe not. Talk to your counselors. Trust them. They know more than I do.But finally and most importantly, thank you. You reached out to your friends and they made the brave decision to ask for help. A tragedy was averted and, I hope, your life will now start the long journey of getting back to better.

Follow writer Chris Serico on Twitter.

This article was originally published Mar. 17, 2015 at 6:24 p.m. ET.