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Stefanie Wilder-Taylor's mom-to-mom advice to Katie Holmes

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is visiting TODAY this morning to talk about her new book, "I'm Kind of a Big Deal." (Read an excerpt here.) And yet she's found time in her busy schedule to write Katie Holmes a letter of friendly advice, one mom to another, which she generously shared with TODAY Moms.Hi Katie.How’s Tom? OK, enough small talk. You’re pregnant!  I can’t believe I had to find out from
Trust us, Katie, having two is way different than one.
Trust us, Katie, having two is way different than one.James Devaney / WireImage / Today

Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is visiting TODAY this morning to talk about her new book, "I'm Kind of a Big Deal." (Read an excerpt here.) And yet she's found time in her busy schedule to write Katie Holmes a letter of friendly advice, one mom to another, which she generously shared with TODAY Moms.

Trust us, Katie, having two is way different than one.James Devaney / WireImage / Today

Hi Katie.

How’s Tom? OK, enough small talk. You’re pregnant!  I can’t believe I had to find out from seeing the cover of OK! magazine with the heading, “Yes, I’m Pregnant.” I understand that you’re probably not telling everyone right now besides your close friends (and readers of OK!). Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone else. But since the cat’s out of the bag, I had to write and tell you how excited I am for you! I myself have three children, so now we have something else in common besides our incredibly sexy husbands. I really hope you don’t forget to invite me to the baby shower like last time, silly!

So, since you’re new to the whole multiple-kid thing I want to give you some girlfriend-y advice: Having a second kid is a lot different than having one. It’s more like having sixteen. Right now, it’s still easy to chase after Suri, and not just because she wears high heels, but because you aren’t trying to balance a Prada purse in one hand and a baby in the other.  

Another thing is your entertainment options are about to get much more limited. For instance, the park is out. It’s impossible to keep your little ones from getting hit by a swing or falling off some monkey bars. Seriously, you’re going to have to bring twice as many nannies! But indoor playgrounds aren’t a whole lot better. Case in point: I went to one the other day and spent the whole time glaring at the mom of a 3-year-old menace. By the way, I don’t take the term menace lightly; I’ve been on the receiving end of a few cold stares myself. One of my twins, Sadie, went through a biting stage that some people could have misinterpreted as aggressive. I preferred to think of her as hungry. I mean, if you weighed 20 pounds at age 3 you’d have the munchies too.

But this menace kid was attacking babies out of nowhere. One, probably 14 months old, was toddling around in his Huggies, minding his own business when the menace came out of nowhere and pounced on him. I have to admit it was strangely compelling, like watching a mountain lion attack a slow-moving antelope. We left soon afterward. I doubt this would happen to you though; you travel with security.

Still, I think with two kids Tom will have to take a more active role (get it, role? He’s an actor! He plays roles!). Just tell him that he can’t keep running off making sequel after sequel of Mission Impossible. Just say, “Tom, we have two kids now. It’s time to grow up and get a real job.” Husbands and their ridiculous hobbies, am I right?

Another thing to keep in mind is that Suri may not be all that into having a sibling. People will tell you how Suri will be the best big sister, mommy’s little helper blah blah blah. Don’t count on it. My daughter used to scream and cry when the twins cried (and they cried a lot – colic) because she couldn’t hear Caillou. If I asked her to bring me a couple of diapers she looked at me like I was asking her to lick to floor. She’s better now, but it took a few years for her to warm up to the idea.

Don’t worry though, it’s going to be great. Hey, hang on. I just Googled you and saw a picture of you taken LAST WEEK in a red bikini and your belly is flat as a pancake that just got run over by a truck. What gives? And now I’m reading that you’re not pregnant after all.

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST TO KNOW? Even though you never returned my fan letter from 2001 telling how much I enjoyed “Dawson’s Creek,” I still thought we were a little tighter than this. Oh well, no hard feelings. Call me when that stick turns blue and I’ll try to call you back but keep in mind, it’s not always easy; I’ve got three kids.