Elle King is starting a family.
The Grammy-nominated singer has announced she is expecting a baby with fiancé Dan Tooker.
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"This is something that I have not only wanted since I could remember, but it's something that I have struggled with for a really long time," King told People magazine. "Every single day of this pregnancy is such a miracle."
The "Ex's and Oh's," singer, 31, is in her second trimester and opened up about the fact she has experienced two pregnancy losses due to polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, a condition that can alter a woman’s hormones, menstrual cycles and weight. It can be difficult to treat, in part, because there is no test to screen for it.
March is Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month. King says having two pregnancy losses is not something people should shy away from discussing, even though she believes that is often the case.
"It's such a major thing that so many people go through, but it's so secretive — like you have to go through it alone," she said. "Nobody talks about it. It's like you're supposed to feel shame; like you're not supposed to tell people before 12 weeks, because if you lose it, it's going to be embarrassing for you and you don't want other people to get their hopes up. Like, holy s---."
King, who has been open about her history with post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, is the daughter of former “Saturday Night Live” star Rob Schneider and model London King. She said they’re among the ones she includes in her support system to help her cope.
"When I got pregnant, I told my mom, I told my dad, I told my sister, I told my brother, I told my closest friends,” she said. “Because God forbid I go through that again, I'm going to need my support team. I'm going to need my family and the people that love me to say, 'It's OK.'
"I've experienced loss and to go through that pain of losing two pregnancies, it just feels like life is over, life is done. You have to go through this intense and really just unbelievably draining and shocking grieving period. You feel like such a failure. Then when (you get pregnant again), you're so afraid to enjoy it and be happy because you're so scared that it's going to be taken away. Just because I'm having a pregnancy that's going well now it doesn't mean that I'm over losing any pregnancy."
King says she remains cautiously optimistic about her rainbow baby.
"I'm learning to be happy for myself," she said. "There's a lot of anxiety around it, but it's also very exciting."
“We found out on Christmas,” she added. "I couldn't imagine a greater Christmas gift than a positive pregnancy test.”
King and Tooker have no plans to find out whether they’ll have a boy or a girl before giving birth.
“My dad says you get two real surprises in life: what you have as a baby and when you die,” she said.
King says she is nervous talking about her pregnancy, but thinks it may let others know they are not alone.
"I'm nervous about having this interview because I have a high-risk pregnancy and I'm just like, what if this comes out and something happens to the baby? Then it's like I have egg on my face. But it's like, why is there shame around that? Why can't you celebrate the beginning of life in this stage?" she said.