Parents often get excited about the idea of sending their kids off to summer camp, but a recent article in the New York Post reveals that they may be getting a little too excited.
How excited, you ask?
Let's just say it involves group sex, drug-fueled parties and nakedness. Lots of nakedness.
The article, which discusses the summer debauchery of several New York parents, claims that 30-something couples with kids use summer camp as an excuse for partying hard and behaving recklessly.
Parents candidly — and anonymously — discuss the ways they relax while the kids are away, from swingers parties and magic mushrooms to getting arrested for public urination and attending "Playboy parties" thrown by neighbors.
So, is this real life? We asked some of our favorite funny parents for their thoughts on the article, and learned that what allegedly happens in New York doesn't happen everywhere.
"'This is the time to have sex in the kids' bedroom and have fun?'" said Brenna Jennings, who blogs at Suburban Snapshots. "Nothing makes sex hotter than having to dislodge six Shopkins from my butt meat. 'Is that a small, novelty toy wedged in your labia, or are you just happy to see me?'"
Suzanne Fleet, who blogs at Toulouse and Tonic, says when her kids go away to visit their grandparents, she and her husband go to dinner, or out for drinks at the most.
"We're saving the key bowls and ecstasy for then they're old enough for sleep-away camp so we can have the biggest — and weirdest — binge of our lives," said Fleet. "I think this article barely scrapes the surface of the wild, weird stuff parents are doing when their kids are away in the summer."
"I don't want to say too much," Fleet continued, "But you might want to look into sleeping until 8 am, having coffee without reheating, watching a TV show all the way through, and going to the bathroom without someone walking in with their pants around their knees and asking you to wipe their ass."
Jessi Sanfilippo, a YouTube comedian at Shuggilippo, says her wildest fantasies about having a kid away at camp are more about binge-watching "Grey's Anatomy" and ordering take-out, than new sexual experiences and drug use.
"Sure, I may answer the door in my comfy granny panties, but that's about as 'swinging orgy' as I get when the kiddo is away," Sanfilippo told TODAY Parents. "I mean, have you ever enjoyed overcooked lo mein on your sofa? I'm sure you'd write a whole article bragging about it if you had."
And, don't forget how much you can get accomplished around the house when your kids are at camp. Deva Dalporto, who blogs at MyLifeSuckers, says in addition to showering without anyone screaming and peeing alone while her kids were at camp, she was able to squeeze in some housework.
"I partied the whole time my kids were at camp," said Dalporto. "And, by 'partied,' I mean I did 40 loads of laundry and sat in front of a computer working for eight hours a day. In clothes."
Molly Erdman, one of the comedians behind The Breakwomb, recently had an entire weekend alone with her husband.
"I kicked off our first day of freedom with a Bloody Mary, and then I fell asleep for three hours," said Erdman. "I have a similar rule (to the parents in the article) in the summer about clothes coming off as soon as I get in the house, but that's just to relieve my intense thigh sweat."
Dad Penn Holderness, who shares a YouTube channel with his family, reminds parents that when kids are away, the most important thing is getting into bed...to sleep.
"I am not shocked or appalled that this is going on," said Holderness. "Good for them! I am appalled, however, that these people do not appear to be prioritizing sleep. That is a curious decision."
"When our kids are gone, we sleep. And we sleep some more. We do some of that 'other' stuff too, but let's be honest, you can do that in a timely manner and then go to sleep. Did I mention sleep?"