See the 27 funniest parents on social media this week

I shopped at Marshall’s yesterday for the first time in two years. They had no cargo shorts.

I was not informed of these changes.

— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) May 3, 2021

I'm pretty sure the kids just squeeze toothpaste directly on the bathroom counter and then rub their teeth on it.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 12, 2021

My grandmother had a vanity plate that read “A Touch of Class” and I think about that when I (only 2 generations later) drink my wine straight from the bottle cause I don’t want to have to wash a glass

— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) May 11, 2021

I get it orcas.
I too flash my white belly to scare intruders

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) May 12, 2021

All my daughter ate for dinner was bread and water, so she will be prepared for a recession or a life of crime.

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) May 3, 2021

My 6 year old just saw a photo of Nelly in a durag and asked if it was a photo of me so I’m auctioning him off, bids starting at a broken popsicle stick and a used tissue.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) May 4, 2021

So as it turns out I am the only one in this family that knows how to turn off a light when I leave a room. I’ll be giving lessons at 6. Be there.

— Callooh Callay MF (@deeprocktees) May 12, 2021

Only thing on my Father’s Day gift registry is lumber.

— Dad Bits (@DadBits) May 12, 2021

My kids put the movie Up on just so they could watch me cry at the beginning because they like to laugh at me when I cry.

So yeah, kids are great!

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) May 12, 2021

Did you know…

The average parent spends 12 hours every morning trying to convince their child to put their shoes on

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) May 12, 2021

I only shave the very bottoms of my legs where my sweatpants creep up and so far my husband hasn't noticed

— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) May 12, 2021

What’s fun about being a woman is when the three hairs you didn’t lose after childbirth turn gray

— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) May 12, 2021

You reach an age when you become very critical about people parking near your house.

— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 11, 2021

my kid found four cicadas. she announced we will name them Shelly, Sheldon, Shelbert, and Frank.

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) May 12, 2021

An old friend confessed that when she first met me, she was intimidated by the way I looked in a bikini, and it's the nicest damn thing anyone has ever said.

— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) May 12, 2021

[sees mom in person for the first time in over a year]

Mom: You look tired.

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) May 8, 2021

The loudest sound in the world is a child slurping Cheerios off of a spoon.

— suzanne hayes (@shayes613) May 4, 2021