Reporter pens heartfelt essay reminding people to 'think before asking' why she doesn't have kids

/ Source: TODAY

As we enter the holiday season, one reporter wants to remind people that those friendly family questions could sting more than they're intended.

In an essay entitled, "Think before asking why I don't have kids," Stacia Naquin of NBC's Phoenix affiliate explains why that simple question — often offered by close friends and family — can be so painful to answer.

At gatherings with friends and family at holiday events, Naquin writes, "You may be tempted to ask what you think is a simple question of the couples (or individuals) in your life: Why don't you have kids yet?"

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"There are no simple answers to that question. Fertility and the journey to have a baby is very personal and can be a complicated thing."

Naquin continued to describe the grief she and her husband dealt with after suffering a miscarriage, three days shy of their 12-week appointment.

What people don't realize when they ask the "kids" question, Naquin said, is that she and her husband have been trying for years.

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"They don't know about the tears that have been uncontrollably shed," she said.

"They don't know that I've been poked, prodded and stuck with all sorts of needles and taken all sorts of medications. They don't know that my husband and I are exploring all of our options in the hopes of finally starting a family."

Naquin wrote that she decided to share her story now to "lend support to other couples."

And her message: even though it may seem like a simple question, stop asking.

"My husband and I, like every couple, could sure use some happy moments and new memories to cherish with family and friends during the holidays, she said.

"If there's news we want to share with the whole group, we'll be sure to let you know."