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I raised my kids in Kyiv: Here's why I love that city, and why they will keep fighting

A former US diplomat describes just how much she and her kids learned from ordinary Ukrainians before they evacuated.
The writer and her family evacuated Kyiv with her family in January, but left a piece of her heart with the people of Ukraine.
The writer and her family evacuated Kyiv with her family in January, but left a piece of her heart with the people of Ukraine.Courtesy Loren Braunohler
/ Source: TODAY Contributor

My family and I lived in Ukraine for a year and a half before we were evacuated by the U.S. Embassy in late January 2022. We lived side by side with Ukrainian families in the outskirts of Kyiv. My son attended Ukrainian preschool, my husband worked with Ukrainian colleagues, and we had Ukrainian music teachers, fellow Ukrainian girl scouts, and Ukrainian friends.

The author's children outside St. Michael's Monastery in Kyiv, where they lived for a year and a half.
The author's children outside St. Michael's Monastery in Kyiv, where they lived for a year and a half. Courtesy Loren Braunohler

Eight months ago, I sailed the Dnipro River in the heart of Kyiv, Ukraine with my family. Our boat captain, Sasha, was reserved yet polite. When the English words came to him, he told us about the landmarks along the riverbank — the beautiful orthodox churches, the islands, the neighborhoods just beyond.

Summers in Kyiv are remarkable: long days, the most beautiful strands of clouds stretching out against a bright blue sky, vibrant greens adorning the city’s streets, parks and sidewalks, people taking the time to enjoy the natural beauty of the season after a long winter. This summer day was no exception. Sasha let us soak in the day in peace and quiet, watching the Ukrainian families as they pulled their cars right up to the river’s edge, gathered with friends, picnicked, and swam. Tents were pitched, coolers were out, dogs fetched Frisbees thrown to them in the cool water, evidence of a full day affair in full swing.

The author remembers a blissful day of sailing the Dnipro River in the heart of Kyiv with her family.
The author remembers a blissful day of sailing the Dnipro River in the heart of Kyiv with her family.Courtesy Loren Braunohler

After an hour of sailing, Sasha anchored and suggested we go for a swim of our own. It didn’t take much convincing for my Michigan-born, cold-water-raised husband to jump in, but my daughters, ages 7 and 9, were hesitant. After seeing this, Sasha joined us at the side of the boat, and silently, confidently took my youngest daughter’s hand, showed her where to stand, and gently helped her jump off the side of the boat into the dark waters of the Dnipro. He then did that with my older daughter and my son, over and over again, creating many laughs and much joy. It was my favorite day during our time in Ukraine.

Courtesy Loren Braunohler

The quiet confidence, gentle kindness and national pride we discovered in Sasha that summer day exemplifies what it means to be Ukrainian: strong and sure, patient and prideful, with a willingness to help others.

Without my having to ask, Ukrainian men always picked up the front end of my stroller when I needed to climb a flight of stairs.

And if the world was unaware of the Ukrainians’ indomitable spirit before, there is certainly no doubt now that this is their greatest strength. Our lives were interwoven with these intensely strong and prideful people every day. Here is a small sampling of what we learned from them:

  • Smiles are earned, not free.
  • Simple things create happiness — gardening, a coffee, a walk in the forest.
  • Long, harsh winters have made Ukrainians resilient. If you can successfully make it through a Ukrainian winter, you can do most anything. I can’t tell you the number of times I saw old women, dressed in their Sunday best, walk over the ice in the bitter cold to church, to the bus stop, to the store.
  • Unkind history has only reinforced the Ukrainians’ strong sense of ownership over their independence. What we are witnessing in terms of heroism and the willingness of everyday men and women willing to fight for their country is a sense of duty.
  • Ukrainians don’t look for recognition. They are enterprising. Their creative, entrepreneurial spirit has led them to create some of the hippest restaurants, coffee shops, and wine bars across Europe.
  • They are resourceful. Those same restaurants are now feeding Ukrainian soldiers on the front line.
  • They are kind. Take, for instance, my son’s preschool, which had never had a non-Ukrainian student. Despite our language and cultural barriers, the teachers embraced him, and our family, and loved him as one of their own.
  • They are thoughtful. Without my having to ask, Ukrainian men always picked up the front end of my stroller when I needed to climb a flight of stairs.
  • They are unwavering, steadfast and unyielding in pursuit of what is important to them. Never has that been more evident than now.

Related: Voicemails from Kyiv: A survivor who stayed describes what war is really like

Reflecting on the friends we left behind

One of our closest Ukrainian friends, Galyna, is a 72-year-old former kindergarten teacher and nurse. She had two sons; one passed away in a gas explosion at the age of 20. She gardens, is an active member of her church, and is a bright light in this world — full of laughter, full of stories, full of life.

A few months ago, when I asked Galyna what she would do if Ukraine was forced to go to war, she told me she would volunteer to cook for the Ukrainian military. She made good on her promise and is now leaving her home every day to cook for Ukrainian soldiers in the outskirts of Kyiv, one of the most dangerous places to be in recent weeks.

“I will be in Kyiv until the victory. I will fight against Putin,” she told me. “Every day we hear explosions. It’s terrible. But we continue to fight.”

At the Friendship Arch monument in Kyiv: The author writes that as she worries about her friends left behind, she feels lucky to have lived in Ukraine.
At the Friendship Arch monument in Kyiv: The author writes that as she worries about her friends left behind, she feels lucky to have lived in Ukraine.Courtesy Loren Braunohler

Our gentle friend Sergeii, a gardener who is never without a kind word or smile on his face, immediately took up arms and joined a volunteer battalion. “The enemy wants to encircle Kyiv, but our army fights well,” he said. “Don’t worry. All will be Ukraine.”

I also think of Ksenia and Alex, a young couple we befriended. She dances. He boxes. As the war started, she moved east to shelter with his grandmother; he joined a volunteer battalion.

“We feel support from all over the world. (Putin) thought he would destroy us. Instead, he united us all,” Ksenia wrote to me.

How lucky were we? That we got to be among these people for a year and half. That my children got to learn from them. See their heart. Understand their struggle.

It is incredible to see the willingness of everyday people to do their part, and to do it bravely. That formidable spirit is why Kyiv didn’t fall in a day. It is why the Russian military has failed to capture and hold major Ukrainian cities in the north, east and south. The price will be steep, but the Ukrainians will not be defeated. Their will to be solely and uniquely Ukrainian will not be broken.

Related: How to help Ukraine: 15 verified charities working to help Ukrainians amid invasion

Every minute of every day, I have a heavy heart about what is happening in my former home, a place where many of our friends, teachers and classmates still reside — in bomb shelters, in basements, displaced. It’s the place where our home and all our belongings remain.

But then I think, how lucky were we? That we got to be among these people for a year and half. That my children got to learn from them. See their heart. Understand their struggle. Feel so deeply for them now as they fight for their freedom. As deeply as we grieve, may we just as deeply appreciate the formidable strength and courage of these people, who, at the end of the day, are just ordinary citizens like you and me who are doing extraordinary things.

Enjoying the Christmas Village in Kyiv.
Enjoying the Christmas Village in Kyiv.Courtesy Loren Braunohler

Doing what we can to help from a distance

As we keep in touch with our friends on the ground in Ukraine, our kids are intent on doing something to help. Along with a group of two dozen of their friends, all of whom evacuated Kyiv with their families, they planned a fundraiser for Ukraine. What started as a simple local bake sale raised more than $30,000. All proceeds were sent to Save the Children, which is helping Ukrainian refugees with critical needs as they arrive at the Romanian border.

At dinner this week, our family discussed how we can do more to help. Car washes. Lemonade stands. Mother’s Day flower sales. Online craft sales. Races. Because we, like the Ukrainians, don’t want to back down. We want to help others when they need help. We want to stay positive. We want to learn from their strength and acknowledge bravery when we see it.

Winter fun: Exploring the Carpathian Mountains in Ukraine
Winter fun: Exploring the Carpathian Mountains in UkraineCourtesy Loren Braunohler

Related: One American left safety behind to care for abandoned animals in Ukraine

The woman who took down a drone with a jar of tomatoes? Legend. The soldier who sacrificed his life to blow up a bridge? Legend. The older couple who told Russian soldiers to get out of their yard? Legends. The 11-year-old boy who traveled 620 miles alone from southeastern Ukraine to Slovakia with only a phone number written on his hand? Legend. The Snake Island border security guards who told off a Russian naval vessel? Legends.

Ukraine is a nation of 44 million legends. Let’s not forget any of these ordinary citizens in what is the whole world’s struggle to show that sovereignty matters. Independence matters. Democracy matters. And may the children we’re raising see and understand the importance of unity, resilience and helping others through their example.

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