Parents

Actress Claire Holt posts about miscarriage: 'I've never felt more broken'

It's been over a week since actress Claire Holt had a miscarriage. Now, the star of "The Originals" is taking to Instagram to speak candidly about her grief and the importance of getting support.

But the photo in the post — which shows Holt wearing a hospital gown and giving the camera a thumbs up — is not what it seems at first glance.

"I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat," Holt explained. "I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life."

I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat. I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life. I debated sharing this so soon and I’m still frightened about making such a private struggle public, but I’m doing it anyway because it's important. After my D & C, I spent hours on the internet searching for women who had been through it. I was desperate to find someone, anyone, who could relate to what I was feeling. Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn’t my fault. That I wasn’t broken forever. I found a community of women who shared my exact experience. Who were open and vulnerable about miscarriage, something that isn’t often or openly discussed. It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves. Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything. I could not have survived this without the unconditional love of my partner. Despite his pain, he was my rock and my safety net. I will never know how to thank him. I also found that opening up to people is crucial. As soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs - their own, their wife’s, their sister’s. So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it. Finally, I want to share a blog post that resonated with every part of me. You can find the link in my bio, @leandramcohen of @manrepeller articulates the emotional rollercoaster with an eloquence that I could never possess. To anyone out there who has been through a miscarriage, I understand you. I share every bit of your pain and you are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and I hope that you will be comfortable sharing your story too.

A post shared by Claire Holt (@claireholt) on

Holt, who announced her engagement to businessman Andrew Joblon in December 2017, goes on to explain that after her miscarriage and a dilation and curettage procedure, she felt "depressed and hopeless" until she began seeking others who had experienced a similar loss.

"I found a community of women who shared my exact experience — who were open and vulnerable about miscarriage, something that isn’t often or openly discussed," wrote Holt. "It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves...as soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs. So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it."

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The actress hopes to encourage other women to reach out for support.

"To anyone out there who has been through a miscarriage, I understand you," Holt continued. "I share every bit of your pain and you are not alone. Please be kind to yourself and I hope that you will be comfortable sharing your story, too."

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